


Coming Home

by lizzyvb



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Brotherly Love, Character Death, Child Protective Services, Depression, F/M, Heartbreak, Mental Breakdown, Miscarriage, Unplanned Pregnancy, discussion of incest, high school sweethearts, suicidal attempt, surrogate parenting, town gossip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-29 02:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15063257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyvb/pseuds/lizzyvb
Summary: When he finds himself as a surrogate parent for his orphaned little sister, Peeta will have to face the ghosts of his past, and the girl who broke his heart, to find that, sometimes, home is not a place, but a person.





	1. Bad News

 

 _“Fucking hell!”_ —I swore to myself as I walked back to my studio from the meeting with Dr. Caesar Flickerman, my professor for Archaeological Theory.

 

He had summoned me to his office for an early morning meeting to discuss various options for my term paper. He was exceptionally meticulous as this was the last paper before I would start on the thesis for my Masters. He had already told me that anything but a perfect score would be unacceptable.

 

Fighting against the wind which beat freezing rain into my face, I kept a close eye on the street.

Cars were running at a crawling speed as the road was covered with a thin layer of ice which had been smoothed by the strong wind. I saw more than one car slither or fail to stop at a red light and was wary of a driver losing control of his vehicle and sliding right into me.

 

Fifteen minutes after I had left the professor's office, I arrived at my studio flat, just in time to prepare myself a late breakfast, or an early lunch. It was Wednesday morning and I hadn’t spent the previous night in the apartment. I met with some friends at the Victors Lounge, a very popular bar among students in Capitol State University and I hooked up with Glimmer Davis, a girl I’ve been seeing on an off. It had been that way for me for the past three and a half years here at College. I hadn’t had a steady girlfriend, just the occasional hookup or one night stand with a few random girls.

 

Glimmer has been the girl I've lasted the longest with. She is really beautiful, with long blonde hair, big green eyes, tall and thin, but with curves in the right places. She is smart, funny and fantastic in bed. She is a fashion major and we met in a design class we shared last spring, where we became project partners. We slept together the very first night we met in my apartment to “study”.  It was great and wild, and we ended up spending the entire weekend naked in bed, just sleeping and having sex. After that, we hooked up whenever we can, no strings attached. She was just out of a long engagement and I have never recovered from my own heartbreak. It is what it is, just sex. But those sessions have been very limited lately, as I am about to finish my Degree in Arts and she is just in her sophomore year, which means long nights of studying and preparing my thesis.

 

Quickly checking the contents of my fridge, I heated some left-over mushroom risotto from the evening before yesterday. I was halfway through my lunch when the doorbell rang.

 

Curiously, I went to open the door. My best bet was that it was one of my friends, looking for a study partner. I looked through the peephole and stopped short when I saw two police officers in full uniform standing outside the door.

 

This was not good. I wasn't a Saint but to the best of my knowledge, I hadn't done anything that would warrant a visit from the police. Nervously, I pressed the handle and pulled the door open.

 

"Good afternoon, Officers."

 

"Good afternoon, Sir. Are you Mr. Peeta Mellark?"

 

I squinted a little, suspicious of what they wanted but as I still didn't know of any misbehavior, I had no reason to lie.

 

"Yes, that's me."

 

I tried to read their body language and countenance and what I saw wasn't very encouraging. They weren't looking for me in connection with a crime or an offence. But what other reasons could they possibly have to come here?

 

_“Mom! Dad! Prim! No! Not Prim! Not my sister!”_

 

"Could we please come in?"

 

"Primrose. Please tell me that Primrose is alright."

 

It was barely a whisper that made it out of my mouth.

 

"We think it would be best if you sat down, Mr Mellark."

 

I swayed. My bloodstream was being flooded with adrenaline and my sense of balance was rendered dysfunctional as my pulse rate increased and pumped the adrenaline though my body. My eyesight deserted me and I saw nothing but the faces of the two officers, the edges of my vision black and fuzzy.

 

A strong hand grabbed me by my shoulder and I was led into the studio and carefully sat down on my couch. There weren't many options as my studio consisted of a saggy double bed, a shabby desk with a rickety chair, a wormy wardrobe, and a worn-out sofa in front. A tiny bathroom and the even tinier kitchenette completed my realm.

 

 _“They entered my apartment without permission_.” —shot through my head before I remembered that they most likely weren't trying to search the place. My circulation normalized a bit or at least stabilized and I was able to form coherent thoughts again.

 

"Thank you for catching me. What's wrong with Primrose?"

 

"We are sorry to inform you that your parents were involved in a car accident this morning. They were both taken to the hospital within minutes. Unfortunately, the injuries your father sustained were too severe and the medical staff were unable to help him. Your mother is alive but in critical condition. We have been instructed to take you to the hospital."

 

It took me a minute to understand what they just told me. My father was dead and Mom was severely injured. In critical condition. I didn't know how to react, I felt numb. " _My sister!"_

"What about Primrose, please how is she?" I asked, my voice trembling with anguish.

 

"Sorry, we don't know who that is?"

 

"My little sister. Was she in the car?"

 

"We don't have any information about anybody else being in the car. I think it's safe to assume that she was not present."

 

Frantically, I tried to come up with a plan on how to proceed. My sister was eleven years younger than I was. I had been an early surprise for my parents when they were barely twenty years old. They put in a lot of effort in raising and providing for me. Last summer, during my last visit at home, mom had told me that their marriage had been on the brink more than once in those early years due to the pressure it had put on them. After everything had stabilized and they had found more things they had in common than just me, they had decided to try for another child.

It took a while.

When Prim arrived, I was already eleven years old. During the pregnancy, I hated her. Or maybe disliked her. But once she had come home from the hospital, l soon fell in love with her and became a protective and doting big brother. When she had grown up a little and our parents wanted to have a calm evening to themselves, I always volunteered to babysit her.

 

What should I do now? Prim was eleven. If our parents weren't there to take care of her, nobody would. What would happen then? Most likely, she would either be given to foster care or a children's home. That wouldn't do.

 

"I need to go home. Immediately."

 

Home was fortunately only a three hours' drive by car or train away. I had missed when the officer told me that they were supposed to take me to the hospital so I thought that taking the train was my only option as I didn't own a car.

 

"Can you take me to the train station? I'll just need a few minutes to pack some necessities."

 

"We have been tasked to take you to the hospital where your parents were brought," the officer who had done all the speaking so far patiently reminded me.

 

I hastily threw some clothes into a suitcase and a handful of my books into my backpack and was ready to go. While the officers drove me to my hometown, I reflected on our future but I didn't know enough about our parents' financial situation. I knew that the house was mostly paid for but it still had a small mortgage remaining. They had also kept it in rather good shape but if our mother didn't survive it would be difficult to keep it. I might be a good art student destined to finish top of the class but that didn't bring food to the table or dress my sister. I would need a job, a job which was flexible enough to be at home in the mornings to help my sister get ready and back in the evening to help with homework and prepare dinner.

 

Maybe I could always take a job decorating cakes in the local bakery again as I did during the year I had taken off between High School and university.

 

“ _Why the fuck had I done that?_ “ —If I'd manned up earlier I would most likely have finished my studies already and everything would look better.

 

The officers tried to engage in some polite conversation to keep my mind from turning uselessly but I wasn't receptive to their well-meant attempts. After a while, they resigned and kept to themselves. I was so lost in thought that I barely registered when they received a radio message. I was startled when the co-driver spoke loud enough for me to react to his words.

 

"Your sister has just been brought to the hospital. She is waiting for you there."

 

I looked up and registered my surroundings for the first time in over an hour. We'd be there in a few minutes. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I needed to focus. My sister would be in an even worse state than me. She needed me. My strength. My confidence.

 

"How is she?"

 

"I'm sorry, I don't have that information."

 

We arrived at the main entrance and I exited the car before it had come to a full stop. I rushed towards the reception.

 

"My name is Peeta Mellark. My mother was brought here as a patient and my sister is supposed to be around."

 

The officers had caught up with me while the nurse checked her computer, muttering, "Mellark. Mellark. Ah, here."

 

Her eyes went wide as she checked her screen and I decidedly didn't like the look of that.

 

"Please, Mr Mellark. Follow me," she said as she came out from behind the reception desk and moved towards a door.

 

I had a bad feeling as she led me through various corridors. Distraught, I checked the signs on the walls. She took me to the mortuary. A deep black void opened inside of me. " _No. Please. No. Not both. Please. No."_

But all my begging was in vain. The nurse brought me to stand between two white pieces of linen that covered a body each. Carefully and slowly she removed the covering fabric to reveal the pale faces of my parents, first from my Dad and then from my Mom.

 

Both faces were mostly unharmed but after casting a short glance at the ghastly profiles of my parents lying on the cold chrome steeled tables, I found myself unable to support my own weight and dropped to my knees to cry. I don't know how long I was there but it can't have been very long until a thought shot through my mind.

 

_“I need to be strong for Primrose. She needs me and she needs me now.”_

 

 


	2. Facing a new reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is still adapting to his new reality as the sole guardian of his sister, since they have no more family. He is also facing the pressure of his new responsibilities and the challenge of demonstrating his ability to keep his sister out of a foster home.

_“Prim needs me, and she needs me now.”_

 

I shoved my sorrow aside, pushed it deep down into my core where I could lock it up and away. There was no time for weepiness now. I needed to man up and hold my own. I was now responsible for the well-being of my sister and I would do whatever it took to make sure that she wouldn't go short.

 

I took a couple of deep breaths and snuffled. I cleaned my face with my sleeves before I stood up, turned around and addressed the nurse that had brought me here.

 

"I’m sorry Ms…Cardew.” I said reading her name tag. “Please I need to see my sister. Where's Primrose?"

 

The kind lady gave me a sympathetic glance and a pat in my shoulder.

 

"Don’t worry about her, she is being cared for. Take your time, Mr. Mellark. Do you want to speak to a chaplain or a minister or maybe a grief counsellor?"

 

"No, thank you. Please take me to my sister. She needs me." She nodded and motioned me to follow her.

 

I then turned to the police officers who had followed me down here.

 

"Thank you for your help, gentlemen. I highly appreciate it."

 

"Our assignment was to make sure that you get home safely, so we'll wait and take you and your sister to your home when you're ready."

 

I nodded at them gratefully as I had not yet had the time to think about how to get home from here. I had my driver's license but I didn't have a car and my parents' one was most likely junk now. The nurse led me back through the corridors and into an elevator. On the way up, the nurse handed me a tissue and I used it to properly clean my nose.

 

The front of the elevator opened when we reached the fourth floor and she brought me to a colorful door which seemed so out of place in this otherwise sterile environment. It had a small glass window in it and as I peered through I saw my adored sister sitting at a low plastic table with a coloring book in front of her, spiritlessly coloring the offered image.

 

I again took a couple of deep breaths and made sure that my own sorrow and despair were locked well away. I pressed the handle and pushed the door open. Before the angle of the door cut off my line of sight through the little window, I could see my sister's head turn towards the sound of the opening door. As soon as I was visible to her, she jumped up and rushed to me.

 

“Peeta!”—she screamed.

I just about found the time to drop to one knee and extend my arms before my distraught sister reached me and threw herself into my chest with her arms around me.

 "They wouldn’t tell me what’s going on. I was so scared Peeta! Peeta, Peeta my brother!” —She was babbling and sobbing and crying all at the same time. “Mommy and Daddy had an accident Peeta!”— I didn't really understand the words she spoke but I quickly grasped that she was telling me how she had experienced the events of the day. After a few minutes of sobbing with her face buried in my neck, Prim took a long breath and calmed down a bit. Pulling away from me, she took my cheeks in her hands and looked me straight in the eyes.

 

"Nobody wants to tell me what's going on, Peeta, where's my mom?"

 

"Damn it!" —I thought to myself. I never thought that I would also have to give my little sister the sad news that we were now orphans.

 

There wasn't much I could do right now, so I just stroked her back and tried to calm her.

 

"it’s okay, I'm here honey. Everything will be fine. I’ll—”

 

“She dead?”—she cut me without hesitation. Her eyes never left mine. She knew I wouldn’t dare to lie to her, so I nodded with a somber glance. “Daddy too?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

 

Again, I nodded.

 

The cry of pain that came from the lips of my poor little sister broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I hug her tightly without being able to contain my own tears. But I could not break down at that moment. I had to remain strong so that she would lean on me.

 

“It’s okay Prim, I'll take care of you. Don't worry. Leave everything in my hands."

 

“Is the lady who brought me here going to take me to an orphanage?”

 

“NO!—I snapped immediately making her jump.—“Sorry honey, it’s just…that is no going to happen. Under no circumstance would I ever, absolutely  not ever allow that to happen. I’ll protect you with my life, sweetie. Nobody will ever separate us. I promise. You understand me?”

 

I didn't really believe myself but it had a calming effect on my beloved baby sister, so I kept it up. With the help of the nurse, I maneuvered us further into the room so the door could close behind us and continued to soothe my remaining family.

 

She was all that was left. Mom had come from an abusive home and had grown up in a children's home. She never had contact with her parents again after she had been hauled away from them and one evening just before I had gone to College she had confided me in that she was glad about it. She hadn't enjoyed growing up in the orphanage but it was better than the abuse she had suffered before. Dad's father had died from a heart attack five years ago. His mother was technically still alive but a neurological sickness, ALS, had reduced her to a care case and she wasn't able to use the toilet without help or communicate with anyone. We had been expecting her to die any day for over a year now.

 

I made sure that my own feelings of loss and despair were still buried deep inside before I addressed Prim.

 

"Shall we go home? I'll cook dinner for you."

 

It was the nurse which had been with my sister before my arrival who thwarted my plans.

 

"I'm afraid you'll have to talk to Social Services first. They'll want to make sure that the child is properly cared for."

 

At that moment, I felt the rage taking over my body. How do these people dare to imply that I am not able to take care of my own sister?

 

"This _'child'_ , as you so vaguely put it, is Primrose Mellark. _My_ sister. You'll have to use violence if you try to keep her away from me."

 

"I'm just the messenger, Mr Mellark. If you please wait here for a minute, I'll go and get Mrs Coin."

 

I took a deep breath to collect myself again.

 

"Of course. My apologies. We'll wait."

 

A severe looking woman in her early fifties entered a few minutes later. At the sight of her, Prim hid behind he, grabbing my hand with all her strength.

 

“Mr Mellark?” — She offered her hand for me to shake while scanning me from head to toes. Her unreadable expression made it difficult for me to know what she thought.

 

“I hope she doesn’t find me too young to care for Prim”— I secretly hoped. I was only 22 years old, but I didn’t think my age would be a factor.

 

“I’m Alma Coin from Child Protective Services. I’m very sorry for your loss.” Her tone was not very sympathetic at all, but I guessed she has given this speech many times before. So I just nodded gracefully accepting her condolence. “I’m here to discuss what will be the best course of action regarding little Primrose here. I’m guessing you want to stay with her?”

 

“Yeah, of course I will take care of my sister. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her with me. I’m the only family she has left.” —I replied trying not to sound too defensive but keeping my head up to give her the impression of confidence that I did not really feel.

 

"Very well, I think that would be the best thing for her right now. Let's take a seat to discuss what the short-term options are, Mr. Mellark."

 

At that moment, my legs felt like jelly, and I was grateful that we would sit down and discuss the situation before they failed me and I fell to the ground. That would not inspire much confidence, neither with the Social Worker nor my sister.

 

Half an hour later, Prim and I were walking through the hospital exit hand in hand. The talk with Mrs. Coin went quite…well.  In fact, she even supported the idea that I should take Primrose home. She made a small question mark whether this was a suitable long-term solution but ad interim, it was the best option available. She also offered to help with funeral preparations and legal questions concerning the accident and the inheritance.

 

The two police officers dropped us off at home around eight in the evening and left immediately. Entering the house was an emotional rollercoaster in itself, for my sister even more so than for me. I hadn't lived here for the last three years as my scholarship had included the rent of a student apartment close to the campus but my sister had eaten breakfast here with our parents only twelve hours ago.

 

But never again would we be welcomed home by our loving parents. Never again would we hear them laughing. Never again would they scold us for entering with dirty shoes or not having cleaned up after us. That was now my responsibility.

 

I was glad that I had lived on my own for the last three years as this had been the catalyst for me to learn how to cook. I sent Primrose to wash her hands and then watch some TV while I made a quick inventory of the kitchen. I was relieved to find the fridge full, both with fresh groceries and with leftovers. I decided on speed over quality and reheated some of the leftovers.

 

As we sat eating, I finally had the opportunity to really speak to my sister. I assured her I would do everything in my power to ensure that we could stay together as a family. For me, it wasn't an option to have her placed in foster care, not after what our Mom had told me. She didn't really understand what that meant for me and I didn't even try to explain but she was obviously glad that I would come home and take care of her.

 

After dinner, I washed up and then sent her to brush her teeth.

 

"You need to help me a little. Mom and Dad didn't read you bedside stories anymore, did they?"

 

"Peeta! I'm not a baby anymore," Prim replied with all the condescension an eleven-year-old girl could muster.

 

I managed a smile and spread my arms, "Come here."

 

She gladly complied. I embraced her tightly; making sure my facade remained intact.

 

"I love you, Prim. For me, you'll always be my little baby sister that needs my help tying her shoes."

 

“I love you too. You are the best big brother in the world. Don’t you ever leave me.”

 

“Never.” I whispered holding her tight.

 

When she was done with her preparations for the night, I tucked her in.

 

"Peeta, I'm scared. What’s going to happen now? What if they send me to foster care?"

 

"Not if I can avoid it. I'm here to stay and take care of you. Trust me; I’ll never let anyone take you away."

 

My voice was steady and assertive while I spoke to Primrose. That wasn't how I felt but it was what I had to convey. Fate had taken one of its unexplainable turns and put me in charge of my sister. For the next seven years, I would be a surrogate father. I just hoped I could make it work. I wasn't sure about that at all.

 

She begged me to not let anyone get in between us. I promised, sounding much surer of myself than I really was.

 

After bringing my sister to bed I retreated downstairs into the living room, planning to watch some TV but I never turned it on. Instead, I just sat there, trying to get my head around what had happened today.

 

My parents were dead, ripped out of my life from one moment to the next and I was suddenly responsible for a little girl. I didn't know anything about raising girls. I didn't know her School schedule, I had a rough idea of her extracurricular activities but I didn't know any details.

 

 _“And how the hell am I going to support us?”_ —I had no idea how much money my parents had left us. I didn't know how I was going to buy food or pay for utilities over the next few days. I needed to start looking for employment quickly but first I needed to find out about the funeral. And I needed to inform my parents' friends and their employers. And I had to find out if they had made a will. And I would have to inform the university that I definitely wouldn't return to complete my degree, much less to start my Masters. And. And. And.

 

It took me a while to realize that I was crying and it took even longer to find out what I was crying about. It wasn't just the loss of my parents; it was the heavy weight of responsibility that was so suddenly dropped on my shoulders. It was well past midnight when I finally went to my old bedroom and cried myself to sleep. I still had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I just knew that I was in way over my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, everybody! 
> 
> Thank you for the very warm reception to this story. 
> 
> As I said in the summary, Peeta is still adapting to his new reality as the sole guardian of his sister, since they have no more family. He is also facing the pressure of his new responsibilities and the challenge of demonstrating his ability to keep his sister out of a foster home.  
> In the next chapters, these new challenges will lead him to make decisions that could alter his life forever.
> 
> And what about Katniss? 
> 
> She will make her appearance very soon. What role will she play in Peeta's new life? We'll see.
> 
> Thanks for your reviews. They always help a lot with more ideas.
> 
> I see you soon.  
> XOXO, Lizzyvb


	3. Painful Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta receives a visit from someone who stirs up memories and wounds he thought were long buried.

I spent one of the worst nights of my life. It was plagued with nightmares, about my parents accident, their pale lifeless faces. Me, unable to land a decent job because I couldn't finish my studies. The bank kicking us from our home. The gray-haired Ms. Coin taking Prim away from me and into a Community Home. Everybody pointing at me with disappointed faces, accusing me of having failed. And most of all,  _HER_ , laughing at me in the arms of that asshole, telling me how she had foreseen how worthless I was.

I woke up startled and bathed in sweat. It kept repeating itself for the rest of the night. After a few hours of restless sleep, the alarm on my mobile woke me at six in the morning. My hand already moved to turn it off when everything flooded back into my consciousness.

_ My parents were dead. _

_ My sister. _

_ My responsibility. _

I couldn't permit myself to fail. So instead of turning it off and going back to sleep, I turned it off and got up. I took a quick shower and then went to the kitchen to check if I had everything to prepare breakfast for my sister. I decided to let her sleep in a little. At seven thirty I called the school and spoke to the principal. He accepted that I would keep my sister at home today but convinced me that it was better for her to come to School again the next day because the routine would help her adapt to the new situation.

I was about to call my father's employer when the doorbell rang. The last thing I expected was to run into the person who knocked on the door. There, dressed in an expensive suit and jacket, briefcase in hand was nobody else than Gale  _fucking_  Hawthorne.

_ "Damn it!"— _  I cursed to myself. But of course, I forgot that asshole Hawthorne had just graduated from law school and started working as a junior partner in the same firm as my father. Mother had told me about it the last time I was in Panem. I had neither time, nor patience to deal with the asshole that screwed my life, and I wasn't going to try and be polite, so I spoke with all the contempt I felt for the guy in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing here, Hawthorne, didn't you already know that my sister and I are mourning the death of our parents? —I'd be surprised if you didn't, knowing how fast the news run around here— so I'll be very grateful if you just leave my porch. The last thing I need is to have to deal with you."

Hawthorne gave me a serious look and let out a sigh. "I'm very sorry about your father Mellark, Graham was a great mentor to me during this last year at the firm."

I raised my eyebrows and leaned back in a gesture of surprise. —"Graham?"— I said sarcastically— "Since when did my father give you the confidence to call him by his first name? As far as I knew, he was your boss."

Gale twisted his eyes impatiently, but I did not give a damn. This idiot was not going to end up ruining the little pride I had left.

"Yes, Mellark, your father was a great man, and unlike you, he did believe me when I told him the truth of what really happened between  _her_ and I. So much that he confided with me his instructions for you in relation to the house and the inheritance that both he and your mother left you in case anything happened to them. Whether you like it or not, I am your lawyer, and the executor of your father's will, so if you want to keep custody of your sister; because don't even think that that harpy Alma Coin will make it easy for you to keep her. Even less when you have not finished your career and don't have a job. Believe me when I tell you that she will do everything in her power to take her away from you and into foster care, so I regret to inform you that you are stuck with me."

" _Now that was a low blow. Asshole."_

I felt a bucket of iced water spill on my head. How my own father had been able to betray me by associating with the one person guilty of all the pain I have carried with me for almost four years and worse, naming him as the executor of his will, forcing me to deal with him?

I looked at him with hatred and stepped aside to let him pass. I was going to have to swallow my pride again for my sister. Because I was willing to negotiate with Satan himself in order to keep her with me.

I motioned for him to sit in the couch when Prim appeared through the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. When she saw Gale her face split in a smile.

"Gale!" she screamed jumping into my nemesis' embrace. I couldn't believe my eyes. It hurt almost the same as when I saw  _them_  together all those years ago.

I heard her telling him how scared she was that the Social Worker was going to take her away to foster care and that she wanted to stay with me. Hawthorne surprised me with his gentleness towards my little sister.

"Don't worry honey. I promise you to do everything in my power to ensure you stay with your brother. But first, I have to go through a few details with him."

"Primrose,"— I said sounding a little harsher than I would have wanted "—I already spoke with Principal Paylor. You are off the hook from school for a couple of days. I got you some fruit and cereal for breakfast; it's already on the kitchen table. I will be with you in a few minutes."

My sweet sister threw her little arms around my waist and smiled. "Don't be so mad at Gale, he's a good guy, I like him."

I chuckled at her and nodded and she ran to the kitchen.

I turned my attention back to Hawthorne. "It seems your sole purpose in life is stealing from me the love of the people who matters the most for me."

"Mellark, I never took anything away from you. The only reason why..."

"Save it!" I cut him. "I don't want to listen to your lies." I was so angry because in addition of the pain of losing my family, now I had to deal with the reopening of wounds that I thought were deeply buried.

Memories of  _her._

I had started dating when I was in sophomore year in high school and at fifteen and a half, the night of the Homecoming dance; I lost my virginity to a girl named Leevy. It was a disappointing experience for both of us and the relationship didn't last much longer.

That spring, six months after I broke up with Leevy, a new girl came to school. She was from Seam County, a miner's town 40 miles north. She came to live with her uncle, the owner of the only pub in town, old drunk Haymitch Abernathy, after her parents were killed in an accident. She was shy and reserved. She practically didn’t talk to anyone except Madge Undersee, the only daughter of the mayor —with whom she had a strange relationship, since they always sat together, but barely spoke to each other— and Gale Hawthorne, who apparently knew her from before, since his family came from the same place. She became famous at school because of her permanent scowl, which made her unapproachable. It was said that she used to hunt with her father and that she was very good with the bow and arrow, and that made her even more intimidating. However, she was absolutely beautiful, with an exotic mixture of olive skin, long straight jet black hair, striking molten gray eyes, fine features and a lean athletic body, although she was shorter than most of the other girls and maybe a little less endowed than many. I didn’t care; I was attracted to her from day one. I was quite popular at school and had a lot of friends, so making friends used to come easy for me, but inexplicably, I lost my ability to speak in front of her. My best friend Finnick used to tease me because I had a death wish, pinning for the school’s “Ice Queen”. So I kept my crush to myself and settled for admiring her from afar for the whole summer. But one month after school started again, my luck changed. I was passing through the empty music classroom to take a shortcut to the gym since I was late for wrestling practice when I heard the most angelic voice singing to the strings of a guitar. I felt hypnotized from the sound of the song. When I looked inside the classroom, my heart skip two beats and clutched at the sight of my siren, and from that moment, I knew I was a goner. Sitting in a stool in the lonely room, with a red plaid button down shirt, black slacks and her hair braided to the side was the girl who caught my eye the first time I saw her, and from that moment, held my heart too. 

The stunningly beautiful Katniss Everdeen.

When she saw me, she stopped singing, but I asked her not to. Her eyes locked with mine, and with a soft timid smile, she started singing again, just for me.

After that day, we became best friends, and slowly, 7 months later, I found the courage to confess my feelings for her, and after a magic first kiss under the stars in front of the lake the day of her 17th birthday, I asked her to be my girlfriend.

At that time, everything was wonderful. We were perfect together. We fit seamlessly while studying and we had fun all the time. We enjoyed the same activities, had a similar sense of humor and could have lengthy discussions without saying a single word. She even gave me her virginity during a summer camp we had that July which was the most incredible experience of my life, and we added lots of great sex to our relationship. Haymitch approved of me and my father and Prim adored her. Her bond with my sister was really special. My mother…well that was a different story. I never understood why she disliked Katniss so much. At first she welcomed her to our house, but after one dinner everything changed. My mother asked her questions about her family, and after she named her parents, my mother‘s attitude changed. She never told me why, but regardless of that, she just kept her distance and didn’t interfere in our relationship. I knew my mother loved me, and I was happy so that was all that mattered to her. 

I felt that I had found my soulmate.

Or so I thought.

Obviously, she felt different. After thirteen months together, out of the blue as far as I could tell she broke up with me three days after Prom, “because she wasn't ready for a committed relationship”. Not a week later, I found her lips locked with Gale Hawthorne, they guy who had been looming after her for the entire length of our relationship. All thoughts of trying to remain at least friends and try to win her back vanished into thin air. I stopped dating after Katniss and remained single for the remaining last month of High School. I still went to parties but only if I had reason to assume that she wouldn't be there. If she showed up nonetheless, I mysteriously disappeared through the back door. In the school corridors, I ignored her the best I could. The short time span between her dumping me and the hook-up with Gale led me to believe that she had already been seeing him when we still were together. She was still with him when we graduated so I took the opportunity the switch from High School to College offered to cut her out of my life in an attempt to move past her. It wasn't hard to avoid her since she went to a fancy College abroad, with her new boyfriend and I stayed home for a year before going to the Capitol. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing pictures of her with her beau enjoying life in Europe while I was stuck at home, feeling miserable and not able to move on. So I kicked her out of my friend's lists on all social media and blocked her for good.

Next year, I went to College in the Capitol and tried to move on, burying my feelings as best I could. The new environment and meeting new people who didn't know or remind me of her helped, a lot. In my attempts to move on from Katniss I resumed my dating activity, but nothing ever came out of it. No other girl could measure up to Katniss or rather the feeling of completeness I had felt when we were together. Not with Cressida, Enobaria, Foxface or even Glimmer. None of them made me forget the only girl I have ever been in love with.

But then last year, my mother told me Gale Hawthorne had returned from England...alone. Apparently his relationship with Katniss was over, because as far as I knew, he started dating Madge Undersee. I was curious—and stupidly hopeful at first— so I search for her in social media, only to have my idiotic heart crushed again at the knowledge that she apparently was dating the spoiled son of a rich European businessman, a guy named Cato Snow. It was clear that she was moving up in the ladder, and none of us were up to her standards.

But for all the disappointment I felt, I still loved her. I hadn't been able to forget her. And here I was at the mercy of the guy who took her from me. Without even a completed College Degree to show him I didn't need his help. But I pathetically did. Without him, I will surely lose my sister, the only family I have left. 

And that would destroy me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!!!
> 
> Okay, this is part of Everlark's story. Obviously, we still don't know Katniss' part of it.   
> Why would Peeta's father named Gale his executor, making Peeta to have to deal with him?
> 
> Please, let me know what you think.
> 
> Chapter 4 will be posted next Thursday.
> 
> XOXO, Lizzy.


	4. Graham Mellark's will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the wounds he thought were deeply buried resurfaced, Peeta decides to step ahead and focus on his present dilemma.

I shook my head quickly to ward off the painful memories that continued to invade my mind and focus on my reality.

Hawthorne was on the couch opening his briefcase on the coffee table. He put on a pair of eyeglasses and pulled out a file. At that moment I understood that I would have to deal with him, whether I liked the idea or not. I had no choice, so I decided to save my feelings of hatred towards the guy for another appropriate time and work with him for Prim's well-being.

"Would you like to drink something, coffee, tea, water, orange juice?

"A coffee would be great, black with two sugars please." he answered without taking his eyes off the documents he was examining. I nodded and went quickly to the kitchen where my sister was having breakfast and I poured two cups of black coffee and a plate of orange-cranberry scones that my father had surely baked yesterday morning. He was a successful attorney, but he loved to bake as his mother taught him. Memories of him teaching my five year old self how to measure ingredients to make my mom's favorite baked treat for Mother's Day breakfast hit me like a thousand stab wounds in my heart.

_"Baked yesterday morning."_

How our life had taken a 360 degree turn in less than 24 hours! Gale was right about something, my father was a great man and there was no doubt about how much he loved his kids and specially our mother. She wasn't easy sometimes, but he loved her, I could tell. My eyes moistened at the thought of not seeing or hearing my beloved father again and I reclined from the kitchen counter to try to compose myself.

Suddenly I felt my little sister's arms around my waist and her head resting on my back.

"I'm going to miss them too. You know? Last night I dreamed that daddy came to my room dressed in a white suit, and he told me that I had to be a good girl and be brave to help you, and that you shouldn't worry so much because he had made sure we were going to be okay. Mommy was also there with him and she kissed and hugged me and said she loved both of us a lot and that she would take care of us always."

I smiled at the innocence of my little sister, so I turned and knelt to embrace her.

"We're together little one, and of course we'll be fine, I'm going to do everything necessary to make that happen, and that's why Gale is here, you don't worry about anything honey."

I heard her sob softly with her head resting on my shoulder, so I stroked her beautiful blond hair to comfort her.

"Hush baby girl, I'm here for you. I'm always going to be here for you."

"But what's going to happen with your college studies? Peeta, you still haven't finished and Mrs. Coin is not going to let you go without sending me to a foster home!"

"Don't worry about that Prim. I'll think about something, I'll probably have to drop out, but it doesn't matter—"

"It does matter Peeta!" —she cut me mid-sentence— "Dad always said how proud he was of you because you were studying the career that you loved, and Mom was excited to think that you were going to open your own art gallery in the city and that you wouldn't have to stay to live in this small town, because you were destined to do great things. That she had made sure nothing was going to stick you here."

I frowned at that statement. " _What did my mother mean with that?"_

"We'll talk about that later little one. I have to go speak with Gale now. Finish you breakfast and go to clean and dress yourself. We have a busy day ahead." I didn't know what that day would bring, but I wanted her ready.

She kissed my cheek and went back to her breakfast. I took the tray with the scones and coffee and walked towards the living room. Just when I was opening the kitchen door, Prim called my attention again.

"Peeta? Last night, in my dream, mommy also told me to tell you that she was very sorry, but she only wanted the best for you."

For the small grin that appeared on my little sister's face, I'm sure I had a dumbfounded expression in my face. " _Was that even possible, that my parents were speaking to Prim in her sleep? Nah! Her grieving is probably playing tricks in her dreams, just like it does with my nightmares. Better for her to have nice dreams."_  I thought.

I put the tray on the table and ofered Gale his coffee.

"Thanks, you are a lifesaver." —Gale said gratefully. Looking at the plate full of scones, he took one with a sad smile— "Your dad always brought these to the office for Monday morning meetings. We already miss him a lot. To Graham." —He said lifting the scone, took a big bite and washed it down with a good sip of coffee. With a gesture of approval,he put the cup on the table and rubbed his hands.

"Okay, time for business. Your father had foreseen to leave a will in case something bad happened to either him or your mom. He was an extremely organized man, and his affairs are very much in order, so there is a lot of stuff you would not have to worry about. This house for example, being the main residence for you and Primrose, your parents' life insurance will cover the entire mortgage, as well as pay for your father's car, although that last one may take a few months since we need to present the required documentation and you know how insurance companies work. Your mother recently purchased an SUV. It is second handed, but it's in excellent condition and has a low millage. It was paid in full, so you have a car available to move around immediately. It's your decision if you want to buy another one once the insurance pay for your father's car, since Prim is not old enough to drive a car and wouldn't be for another five years."

 _"Uff!"_  —I thought. This will take away a lot of weight from me because I will not have to worry about paying the mortgage and I will have a means of transportation. I didn't know that my mother had acquired another car; I haven't looked to the garage yet since we got home so late last night. But it surprised me nonetheless because mom always said that in this small town it wasn't necessary to have two cars, and that one was more than enough for us. I didn't agree with that; during my high school years it was my friend Finnick who took me to and from school everyday because she never allowed me to have a car. She even got angry with my father every time he lent me his to go out with my girlfriend.  _"Shit! There she is again in my thoughts."_ Gale continued talking and I shook my head to focus on his words.

"The only thing you need to cover will be the upkeep of the house, which is about 1% per year of the cost of the property, taxes and utilities. Prim has a college fund that she will have access to when she goes to College. Yours is untouched, since you didn't use it because of your scholarship, so you have that money at your disposal immediately. It's a solid amount, and I believe that might help you to manage everything for the next couple of months until all the paperwork is done and you receive the insurances and the social security stipend for Prim."

"Insurance and Social Security stipend?" —I asked surprised.

"Yes. Your father also had a $150 grand life insurance, which will be split equally between his heirs, that's $75 grand for each one of you. Prim can access her part when she gets 18. You will have it available as soon as we present the... death certificates to the insurer and the declaration of heirs. In addition, the social security will pay you a monthly stipend for the maintenance of Prim, until she reaches the age of 18."

I didn't understand anything about finances or legal procedures, let alone inheritances; that were my father's expertise, and I was never interested in law. I always lean towards the arts, just like my mother. That's why she was thrilled with the idea that I would be able do what she couldn't do when she got pregnant with me in her sophomore year and had to leave College so my father could finish his career —although it seemed that history would repeat itself—but I decided to leave my pity party aside and ask all the corresponding questions to clear my many doubts.I hated to look like an ignorant idiot in front of Hawthorne, but not asking will make me look even worse.

"Isn't social security like a retirement fund?"

"Well, yes and no. It is rather a fund for when you are unable to work anymore, and that is why it is withheld and paid directly to the government by your employer. People are not allowed to benefit from it until they are 65 years old, unless they have a proven disability that does not allow them to continue working. Your father —sadly— died very young, he was only 42 years old, and having a daughter under the age of 18 the government grants her legal guardian the monthly allowance until she reaches that age."

"That will help a lot." —I said nodding my head and breathing a lot more relaxed. It wasn't that bad after all.

"That's why a lot of unfitting people apply to be foster parents —not everyone, there are also good hearted people— but many of them do it just for the money they will receive for raising an orphan kid. And we need to keep your sister out of that system."

"Yes Gale. I'll do whatever I have to do." —I answered sincerily.

"I know you will. And I'll help you, but need you to trust me." —he said looking at me straight in the eye.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Gale continued.

"So, in summary, financially speaking, you are going to be quite comfortable. It's not a fortune, but at least you'll have enough time to finish your studies if you want to do it and get a job. That will reassure Coin a bit and will prevent her from walking on your heels for a while. I will take care of the paperwork and you will only have to go to the office to sign some documents in front of the Public Notary."

"All right." I answered relieved.

"Okay. Your parents named you sole guardian for your sister. That gives you a strong leverage. But, you are a 22 year old unmarried college student. No matter how great your financial situation is, CPS always takes into account the environment in which your sister will live. And that evaluation depends a lot on who is the social worker assigned to the case. Unfortunately, we have to deal with the strict old fashioned Alma Coin. She is very…moralist, and will not grant you many liberties. Having said that, I need to ask you, do you currently have a girlfriend?"

For all the relief I felt knowing our financial situation was under control, I felt the anger rising through my whole body. —  _"Do I have a girlfriend?"_  —that is a question that wouldn't bother me to answer it to whoever asked. Except this guy. My body language apparently gave him the message.

"I'm sorry to ask, but I need to know. It's nothing personal."

I sigh and decided to tell the truth, there was no point lying to keep appearances.

"I'm seeing someone but not steady. On and off."

Gale was bold. "More like a friend with benefits?"

I shot him with a murderous look.

"More or less." —I said sarcastically— "Want to meet her? Maybe you will like to dip your tongue in her mouth a few days after she dumps me, because I highly doubt she will hang on to me now."

He took off his glasses, sending me daggers with his eyes.

"Listen to me, I'm not going to fight with you over that, Mellark. If you don't want to listen to anyone and keep believing what they made you believe, good for you. I only came here to help —not because of you; you're an adult— but because I care about that little girl that I know you love so much, and because your father, whom I respected and admired, gave me this assignment. And I'm not going to fail him. I asked for your trust just a few minutes ago, and I thought you agreed."

I knew I was behaving like a douchebag and it was wrong. The guy was trying to help. So I got up and walked a few steps around to put myself together and  _"pull the stick out of my ass."_

"I'm sorry about that, Hawthorne. I know you are here to help me through everything and I really appreciate it. If my father had you in so high esteem to put you in charge, I don't have any reasons not to trust you. Please forgive my stupid outburst and let's continue."

He put on his glasses again. "Okay. It would be good for your image either to have an official partner, or not to have one at all. If Coin knows you are fooling around with random girls, she will say that you are not setting a healthy environment for Prim and you're putting her at risk. She would deem you "unfit" to be Prim's legal guardian. During the next months, or at least until the court grants you official custody, you'll have to abstain from parties, alcohol and one night stands. It will help you if you get involved in Prim's extracurricular activities. Get to know her friends, teachers and maybe the members of the PTA. "

I nodded. "Mom had always meticulously kept a calendar in which she notated everything. That would be a great help."

"Good. I also would recommend that you enroll in an on-line program or in the local Community College that allows you either to complete your current major or to do another one. It will look good to them that you are still trying to finish your education, and it will help you also in the long haul. You don' need a full time job right now, so you can work part time and study too. You have to show CPS that you may be young, but you are taking your responsibilities very seriously."

"That possibility already crossed my mind. It wouldn't hurt to have two majors if someday I am able to finish my current Degree. I have some credits approved in graphic design. That might come in handy."

"Okay, that's great! We're heading to a good start so far. One last thing, our boss, Mr. Heavensbee, appointed his personal assistant, Ms. Effie Trinket to help you with all the funeral arrangements. All the expenses are going to be covered by the firm, and Effie will take care of everything and make sure things run smoothly for you and Prim. Here is my card with my cellphone number. Don't hesitate to call me anytime if you have any questions or anything happens. Remember, I am you legal representative. Don't answer any questions from CPS without consulting me first. I will be here for Coin's first visit. I'll give them a call informing any communication between you and their representatives has to be through me, and to set the date for Coin's inspection visit. Allright?" he said handing me a card and closing his briefcase.

As we got up, I nodded and shook his hand with a sincere smile. At the moment, I couldn't feel anything but grattitude for the guy.

"Thank you Gale. I'm sure Prim will be more than happy when I tell her about our conversation. And don't worry, I'll do everything to ensure my sister's safety. We'll be in touch."

"I know Peeta. We always knew how protective you are of your sister. There is no better guardian for her than you."

I opened the door for him and he stepped outside. Suddenly, he turned to me.

"You know? In six months, I'm marrying the girl of my dreams, whom I have been together with for four years, Madge Undersee. And for the record, I was never with Katniss."

I was stunned by his revelation. "Madge? Four years? Wh…what do you mean?"

He shrugged.

"I was never with Katniss. Not everything is as it seems Peeta. Her phone number is still the same. I have a hunch that you still know it by heart."

"Why don't you tell me what happened then."

He gave me a sad smile. "Because it's not mine to tell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there everybody! Here delivering Chapter 4 as scheduled.
> 
> This was full of legal technicalities —if some of them are not correct, sorry, I'm not a lawyer, just did a little research, besides...this is fiction, we can make our own rules!— What I really intended here is to plant the seed of trust between Peeta and Gale. Their bonding will be very important later on. Peeta is fighting to keep his emotions at bay. You know I always write him OOC; an imperfect normal guy. And I am loving to write an OOC Gale, this level headed serious guy so different from canon Gale, who is so impulsive and hot headed.
> 
> I'm sorry for not bringing in Katniss yet...she'll be here, soon.
> 
> Please, let me know what do you think. As always, your comments always help to develop new ideas.
> 
> Chapter 5 is in editing and will be post next Thursday.
> 
> Until then, XOXO
> 
> Lizzyvb


	5. Living a new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is getting accustomed to his new life as a surrogate dad. But being alone it's not so easy.

After the first meeting with Gale I felt a lot more relieved about our situation. Thank God, because what followed were very hectic days which I spent mostly on the telephone or receiving visits. Either I was calling someone -a bank, an insurance company, friends - or I was being called - people from my father's workplace, parents of my sisters' classmates, old friends of the family, some of my High School classmates or my mother's church group. The highlight of my day was when I received an email from my best friend Finnick, who was in the Marines and stationed in a base in Hawaii. He was in shock with the news, since he always were like another son in my house. Everybody seemed to have learned about our parents' passing.

We went to the nursing home where my grandmother lived. Her condition had worsened exactly from the day my father died. A mother's instict I though. Even in her state, she sensed her son's passing. l felt my heart breaking for her. I remember as a kid, my grandmother Mags always spoiled me rotten with sweets and gifts that were not always approved by my mother, but many times she overlooked and let them pass. After all, for eleven years I was an only grandson. I loved spending the summer holidays at their home up in the countryside, baking cakes and pies with her, or fishing with my grandfather while telling me stories. Then, when Prim was born, she filled her with ribbons and hand-woven hats. She was the sweetest woman in the world. Having her healthy with me now would have been the most wonderful blessing. Sadly, in her current condition she wasn't going to last long, and the last thing we needed right now was another death on our already diminished family. I made a compromise to visit her everyday as my father did, I didn't want her to die in the nursing home abandoned by the only family she had left. I owed her that.

With all the things I had to do, I barely found the time to prepare my sister her meals and I don't know if I would have succeeded if it wasn't for Mrs. Seeder, our next door neighbor, coming in to help me.

Just as Gale told me, Child Protective Services called and told me that they were informed by my legal representative that everything would be arranged through him and notified that the first inspection would be held in a month. I immediately told Gale to make sure he was here on that day. Next day Ms Trinket paid us a visit and we discussed the funeral arrangements and the obituary in the local newspaper. At night, once my sister was in bed I took a quick shower and somehow managed to fall on the bed while collapsing into a deep sleep.

The day of my parents' funeral was very intense and overwhelming. The sky was gray and it was raining incessantly, as if the climate had agreed to reflect my feelings. It seemed that everybody in town came to pay their last respects to them. They had lived in Panem since my dad graduated from College and opened his legal practice along with Mr. Heavensbee. I was surprised to see some of my College friends came to gave me their condolences —Thresh, Marvel, Mitchell, and even Glimmer showed up. She gave me a hug and I let myself cry on her shoulder. She understood the responsibility I had now and wished me the best with a comforting hug and a chaste kiss on the lips. Although our relationship was practically limited to casual sex, she showed a lot of fondness and respect for me. I wish I had a different feelings for her. But she wasn't up to that either. Our  _"no strings attached"_  agreement was always mutual. Anyway, we promised to keep contact. The only weird thing was that when she kissed me, I looked over her shoulder and saw a strangely familiar silhouette, dressed in black, watching us from under the distant willow tree on the entrance of the cemetery. But a bunch of people surrounded me at that moment to give me their condolences and when I looked again, it was gone. I shook my head confounded. The person I swear I saw looked just like... _her_. But she vanished into thin air. My mind was obviously playing me tricks.

 _"It's impossible that_   _she came._   _She has a life in Europe, long away from you."_

_..._

It took me a while to get everything in order but after a month, I managed to get everything necessary done on a daily basis.

We passed our first CPS inspection with flying colors. Gale proved that my father made the right decision appointing him as our legal representative. He took care of all the paperwork and by the time Ms Coin came to inspect, all claims for life insurance had already been made and all documents and certifications had been submitted to claim my parents' inheritance. There were hardly any outstanding debts and Prim had a safe roof over her head.

"It seems that everything is in order Mr. Hawthorne." —said Ms. Coin, keeping the evidence documents that Gale had presented to her. We were in the living room after Coin inspected the house, which I had made sure to be impeccable, the cupboards and refrigerator full, and a well dressed and smiling Prim having all her homework done. —"I think you have done a good job so far, Mr. Mellark." — I nodded with a slight smile.— "As I checked with the school, Prim is attending regularly and has been visiting the school counselor to help her overcome the loss of her parents."

"Yes ma'am." —I responded with mettle and security.

"Any immediate plans for you Mr Mellark? I highly doubt that a young handsome man like yourself doesn't have a girlfriend around."— she commented.

I shook my head and shrugged with an innocent smile.

"I spent three and a half years at College in the Capitol, ma'am, my studies did not leave me much time to dedicate to a girlfriend, and I don't usually play the field. Yes, I went out with some girls, but nothing serious."—I answered with sincerity.

Mrs. Coin laughed as she scribbled something on her board. Standing behind her with a cup of coffee in his hand, Gale looked at me over his glasses as he signaled me to say nothing more.

"I am pleasantly surprised by your sincerity Mr Mellark, many young men would swear that they have never gone out with anyone just to try to look good. But I am a big fan of the truth, and I went to College too, I know how things are. So thank you for that Mr Mellark. I suppose you already gave up that university life to which you were accustomed."

"That's right, ma'am. My priority is my sister's welfare." —Gale gave me a thumbs up mouthing a  _"Perfect!"_  over Coin's head.

"Good! We are on the same page then." —She said extending her hand, which I shook firmly. —"We'll see each other in two months." She got up and offered her hand to Gale. —"It was a delight to meet you personally, Mr. Hawthorne, please keep me informed of when all claims are paid and of any changes."

"You can count on that, Ma'am." —He responded with a courtesy.

We both escorted Coin to the door and said our goodbyes. When it closed behind her, I lean against it and let out a sigh of relief.

"Uff, it's finally over."

"For now." —explained Gale— "For the next visit you should at least have a part-time job and show that you are involved in Prim's activities. You have to un-focus her from your private life. That question of whether or not you're single was not pure casual curiosity, she did it on purpose. Financially stable or not, you're still a 22 years old single guy. And she will keep a close eye on that."

I nodded knowing that I had to be a good example for my sister and to show that awful woman I was a mature adult with my priorities very well drawn. So I didn't lose anytime. Less than a week later, I took a job at Sae's Bakery decorating cakes for her as I did when I was in high school. It allowed me very flexible hours while earning just about enough that, combined with the social security allowance kept us afloat without having to dip further into our inherited funds. I had tried to find other, better paying employment, but they all clashed against my need for flexibility and my sense of loyalty towards Sae. She hadn't needed another employee when she hired me but she had known my parents and could use my talent for decorating. She said her sales were better when I did the cakes because of my " _steady pulse and artistic knowledge"_ , in contrast with her " _shaky hands and boring designs"_ , as she said.

We sure had an influx of cake orders as soon as word that I was decorating the cakes went out. She smiled to me telling me  _"I told you so. Now I'll have to keep you here forever."_  She was a great boss.

I also enrolled for a few courses in the local Community College, 2 nights a week. It will allow me to complete an Associated Degree in Graphic Design within a year, which would help me find a better job later on.

I did everything my attorney told me to do. I was involved in all of Prim's activities in and out of school. I met all her teachers and attended every PTA meeting. I even sign up as an assistant coach for her soccer team.

Between working, helping my sister with her homework, studying, cooking and looking after the house, I didn't have much time for myself. My dating life, therefore, was non-existent. Although I talk to Glimmer occasionally, it was more like a friendly catch up. I made a few female friends at Prim's soccer games, and at my night classes but no one catch my attention since many of them were fairly older than me, even though some of them, like the three timed divorceé Cashmere Phillips, was very aggressive and made very clear her interest in "banging me".

I had been living my new life as a surrogate father for my baby sister for nearly a year, and I was going to have a whole weekend for myself for the first time because Prim was going to a school trip to the fields of District 11. It was Thursday afternoon and Prim asked for permission to go shopping for a few necessities with her best friend Rue and her mother before they go on their school trip later this afternoon. I offered to take her myself, but I thing she was embarrassed. There are things that a pre-teen girl needs a woman in her life for, and I was very grateful for Rue's mom help, but sometimes, I felt I was abusing her generosity. Truth to be told, I was relieved to finally have a few days to rest from the daily hustle, since I only had to work a couple of hours on Friday and Saturday to finish some orders at the bakery, but I was also afraid, because having free time always brought  _her_  to my mind. Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought to what Gale told me about his relationship with Katniss the first day we talked. " _What did he mean by all the things he said?"_ I wanted to know so badly what were those things that are  _"not as it seems"_ , as he put it. " _What was not his to tell"_ And then my mind went to the day of the funeral, and the woman I saw staring at us from the distance. She looked a lot like Katniss, but I wasn't sure if it was real or an illusion of my traitorous heart. I thought it was the second, since I never heard anything about her coming back home, not even for Gale and Madge's wedding four months ago, and believe me, I would have known. Gossip in this town usually spreads like wild fire. Gale was right about me remembering her phone number, I tried several times, but I always chickened out. Anyway I didn't think she would answer since, in my efforts to shut her out of my life, I changed mine as soon as we graduated and she went to Europe, so she wouldn't recognize the number. Not being able to resist the temptation, I took a peek though her Facebook page, and I realized it was exactly as it was the last time I peek. All the pictures I had seen were dated three years ago and not posted by her; she was tagged by the guy I suppose she was dating. Her page wasn't blocked and, she hasn't post anything in a long time, almost since she dumped me. Taking a deep breath, I made the decision to call her.

I was about to dial her number when the front door opened and my sister appeared with a blonde curvy girl trailing after her.

"Hey sweetie!" —I greeted Prim with a kiss on the cheek— "Had fun shopping?"

"As a matter of fact we did big bro. Rue and I are all settled for the trip. And look who we found on our way home. She said she wanted to greet you."

She looked at me with a very forced smile and made a slight movement to signal me the person standing after her. I tried to repress a chuckle, I knew Prim was annoyed.

"Hey Peet!" the blonde greet me with a smile plastered on her face.

"Hey Delly?"

Delly Cartwright was the daughter of the local shoe shop owner. She lived a few blocks away and she was two years below me in school. I remember her being a cheerleader and always was surrounded by  _"the airheads squad",_  as Finnick used to call them. I never paid much attention to her at school —she was not my type, and I was completely smitten with Katniss. But for the past months since I returned I had been able to get to know her better. She is a sweet girl, and is always trying to help us. But her personality is so bubbly and over-friendly and extremely talkative, that sometimes it's overwhelming, and honestly, even annoying. Prim says Delly is good in "small doses", and that's a lot, since Prim is so very friendly herself. My boss Sae says that she is clearly interested in dating me. But I had avoided it because first, I never have been interested in her; although, my type or not, she has a rack that has to be checked out —an attribute that she advertises frequently, and at those times, she definitely gets my attention. After all, I'm neither blind, nor a monk, just a normal 23 year old guy who hasn't dated or had sex in almost a year. But then comes my second reason —and strongest one— to avoid her, I didn't want to risk a bad inspection note from Ms. Coin. She had been pleased for the past months and it was only a matter of a few more before the judge granted me full custody. My sister's well-being came first.

"I'm going to finish my bag for the weekend Peet. The bus will be here in an hour. See you later Delly!" Prim said hurrying towards the stairs. When she reached the landing of the stairs, she looked at me with her brows lifted in an annoyed grimace. Delly had her back to her, and Prim made a scissors signal with her fingers, as if telling me to cut with Delly quickly.

I shook my head smiling at her.

"How have you been Delly? Everything all right in the shoe store? "—Delly had taken a short administration course at the same school where I was attending and currently managing the small but successful family business.

"Yes, all is excellent, business is great! And what about you? I haven't seen you in the bakery for days."

"Yes, I've been very busy in the back this week. There are so many orders and I only work five hours a day, maybe tomorrow all day, since I don't have to pick up Prim in the afternoon. I'd like to finish them all before the weekend, to not have to be rushed at the last minute."

She laughed.

"The other day I heard Sae telling Mr. Goatman that since you came back to decorate for her, her business has tripled. In fact Madge's wedding cake was the most incredible and beautiful I have ever seen. But I guess it was obvious. You're the best."

"Thanks." —I said a little flushed. Then I saw her hesitate a bit. "Are you okay?" I asked worried.

She smiled. "Yes, it's nothing, it's just that ..." —she took a deep sigh— "I thought that since you don't have to take care of your little sister tomorrow evening, maybe you would like to have dinner with me in my apartment. Not to presume, but I make a mean vegetarian lasagna, what do you say? Will you accompany me?"

I was taken aback by her invitation. I wasn't very fond of the idea of spending a Friday night having dinner with the Cartwrights.

"Please Peeta, you are always at home, taking care of your sister, working or studying, it's fair for you to have a little fun. We can have dinner and a movie. I don't even have a kitchen table in my small apartment so we'll eat on the couch—"

 _"Shit she moved into her own apartment a few weeks ago. She's not living at home with her parents any more."_ Every alarm bell in my head was ringing. _"Bad idea, bad idea!"_

"Please, Peet. You have to eat anyways."—She gave me a lost puppy look and I felt bad for her. And although I knew it was a bad decision, I lost that battle. "Okay Delly, I'll go, is seven okay?" Her smile threatened to split her face in two.

"Perfect!" She exclaimed with a loud squeak holding me by the neck and kissing me on the cheek. "I'll have everything ready." She said retreating to the door as if fearing I would change my mind.

I pressed the bridge of my nose after she closed the door.

"I hope you know what you're doing Peet." the resigned voice of my little sister said from the stairs.

"It's only dinner." I answered her

"For you, but for her it's your first date. Are you really that dumb that you don't realize that Delly is drooling over you?" she said bluntly.

I looked at her in surprise.  _"She's barely twelve, when did she get so observing?"_

"Don't get me wrong Peet, she's nice and all, but, you're not into her. You just check out her boobs every now and then, but, I know you don't even like her like  _that._ And she is so over the top that ugh!" she said shaking her hands.

"Be fair Prim. She's right, I'm always alone, and, I like her, she is a sweet girl—"

"Yeah right, sometimes she is so sweet that she cloys. Peet, don't get carried away by the sympathy you have for her or because you are alone. I don't want you to make a mistake that you will regret later."

"And what do you know about that Prim? You're just twelve. I don't need your permission to go out with someone. I'm an adult, and I'm not stupid."

She was about to reply when there was a honk in front of the house. Prim was a little mad for my retort. Taking her bag, she walked to the door. "The school bus is here. I see you on Sunday night."

I stopped her with a hug.

"Sorry little one. I didn't mean to be that harsh. But sometimes..." —I shook my head— "Never mind, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You just enjoy the trip. And call me when you get there."

She nodded. I opened the door and greet Ms. Cecilia, one of their chaperones for the trip. After exchanging phone numbers and being assured they would be well cared for during the trip, Prim stopped before getting on the bus and turned to look at me.

"I know I'm only twelve, but I just want you to be happy. Think about what I said. I love you...  _bro-dad_."

I couldn't help but to laugh at her nickname for me. That was what I was for her —bro-dad— half brother, half father. And as such I had a responsibility to fulfill. I would go to dinner with Delly, but I would be completely honest with her.

If only it were so simple.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people!
> 
> Here delivering Chapter Five.
> 
> Love to hear your thoughts. Some time has passed, almost a year, Gale and Madge got married and Peeta has become accustomed to his life as bro-dad. But he is still a young man and he is starting to feel alone.
> 
> So...Peeta is going on a date...hmmmm, do you think Delly will make it that easy for him? He needs to keep behaving, his evaluations with social services have been good so far, but he still doesn't have full custody.
> 
> Let's see what happens there.
> 
> I know you are thinking, when is Katniss coming? Good news, Next chapter, she will be here!
> 
> See you guys next Thursday.
> 
> XOXO Lizzyvb


	6. Blast from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he tries to freed himself from his date with Delly, Peeta made some discoveries that could change everything he thought to be truth.

After my little disagreeing with Prim because of my ' _not date'_  with Delly, I felt unrest for the rest of the evening. I couldn't sleep very well and woke up early with a huge headache. I took a cold shower to try to relax a bit and got ready to go to work, but my mind kept thinking about the events of the previous night.

What if my sister was right about Delly's intentions? Will I be okay with that? But then again, I am an unattached guy. What the heck if anything happens between us? In that case we would be both consenting adults. And I think I have earned the right to at least have a selfish day for myself. Denying that Delly was a really beautiful girl was being a hypocrite. Any guy would be more than happy to jump in bed with her. Just the thought of her bare breasts made my neglected body react.

But, on the other side...I have a responsibility with my sister. I still haven't being granted full custody of Prim, and behaving like a horny teenager for the sake of pure lust is not exactly the best example I need to set for her. No matter how discreet I manage to act, Prim knows very well I'm not slightly interested in having a serious relationship with Delly, and for that I could lost her respect.

No, that was a big no. I have manage to keep my urges under control so far. So I can, and should wait until at least I find someone with whom I really want something more than just  _"no strings attached"_  sex. Those times are long gone. Besides...before the Delly incident yesterday, I had finally worked the nerve to call Katniss. I need to find out what happened. I need to fill in all the blanks, or I will never have peace, and even less be able to move on from her.

I shook my head trying to push away all the thoughts and memories. Thank God I had enough work pending at the bakery to keep my mind occupied for the next eight hours. When I arrived at the bakery, Sae gave me a strange look.

"Are you okay, boy? You look worried about something, I hope it's not about that supposed date with the Cartwright girl."

 _"What the hell!_ " —I thought—  _"how did Sae find out that Delly invited me to dinner today?"_

"Don't be surprised my boy. That creature doesn't know what it's like to keep her mouth shut. And her mother came in early to buy some buns for the dinner that ' _Delly is preparing for her boyfriend.'_  Her words, not mine."

I felt my blood boiling.

"I'm not her boyfriend Sae. I'm not interested in her, or anybody else for all that matters. In fact I'm not even going to that dinner." —I answered her briefly.

She gave me an accomplice smile— "I know you aren't her boyfriend. That silly girl will never be your type. Besides, if I know you well, you're still in love with somebody else." —she winked an eye and left me dumbfounded, and going to the front to deal with the morning rush.

 _"Am I that ridiculously obvious? And what the hell is going on Delly's mind? H_ _ow did her mother dare to announce that she was my girlfriend? We have not even go on one date and she's already planning the wedding."_  —at that moment I decided that it was definitely not a good idea to have dinner with her, much less in her apartment.

Just on cue, my phone rang.

Delly. I turned my eyes in annoyance.

If there was a good time to get out of that date, was now. So I answered at the third ring.

"Hey Peeta?"

"Hey Delly? Listen ehh..."

"I'm just calling to tell you I'm really looking forward to our date tonight."

_"Shit! Prim was right."_

"Also I want to ask you if you have any food allergies, and what wine would you prefer. Just to make sure everything is perfect. I don't want to scare you away." —she said laughing softly.

That answered any doubts I may had that she was already thinking this is more than just a simple dinner between friends. She wants to impress me. And my baby sister warned me. I need to cancel this, because between her infatuation with me, some alcohol and my involuntary celibacy, I could end up finding myself in a very compromising situation. And one that I am 100% sure I don't want. So, although I was annoyed by the rumors that her mother had started, I decided to ignore them and give her a plausible excuse to cancel the date, trying my best not to offend her.

"Listen Delly, I...I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to your place, least of all at night. Last night you caught me off-guard and I didn't think clearly. CPS is still monitoring me and...I don't want to give them the impression I'm fooling around. My main concern right now is my sister's stability, and, I can't risk to lose her custody. It's nothing personal. You're a great gal. I'm really sorry."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Delly? I'm really sorry. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you."

"But...Peeta, I really want us to spend sometime together. I really, really like you Peeta."

"Delly...please I...I have to be honest with you. You are a beautiful girl, and I'm really flattered. But...I just can't give you what you seek."

"You would if I was Katniss Everdeen?"

She caught me off-guard again. I was definitely not expecting that.

"I...I don't know what you mean. What does she has to do with this conversation Delly. I haven't even mentioned her."

"I think she has everything to do with this. And I know why. I heard the other day that she's coming back to Panem. The stupid cops that are always at Abernathy's bar, Cray and Tread are running a bet that you'll fall at her feet as soon as she arrives. Because you're still mooning over her like the lovesick fool you've always been."

" _What the hell?" —_ I thought— _"How_ _many gossipers are there in this town! And, what do they care if I'm still or not in love with Katniss? It's my problem, not theirs..."_  —but suddenly, Delly's words sunk in. I fell like a bucket of iced water was thrown over my head.

_Katniss is coming home._

At my lack of response, Delly took it as a confirmation.

"So, it's true. Really Peeta? Are you going to let everybody here laugh at you, showing them that you're still in love with a girl who cheated and discarded you like trash? Where is your self respect? It's time you forget about her! I even heard she has a kid! And you are going to let her rub it in your nose, while you are still unable to move on?"

 _"Katniss has a kid?"_  —I felt a punch in my stomach that sucked up all my air, and I felt dizzy. Reaching for the nearest stool, I took a few deep breaths. This was definitely not a conversation I wanted to have with Delly.

"Listen Delly, I don't know where you got this whole story from. I don't have to give explanations to anyone about what I feel or not for someone who at a given moment was very important to me. And to be honest, actually I am very disappointed with you that you have started to make rumors of a relationship beyond a simple friendship between us, just because you invited me to dinner. I can't offer anything more than friendship now. Not you or anyone else. Can you understand and respect that?"

I heard a sob on the other side of the line. I felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I was mad at myself just for having the nerve to think about having sex with her, because that was scoundrel behavior.

"I'm sorry, Peeta, it was not me, it's just that, my mom is very enthusiastic, and she knows that...she knows that I care a lot about you. She just wanted to help me."

"Help? How? Making everyone in town believe that you and I have a relationship that doesn't exist? Delly, I'm sorry, I can only see you as a friend, nothing more. And if you can't understand that, then it's better that I stay away from you."

"No please! I'm sorry Peeta!" —she begged— "I understand. I'll only be your friend, but don't push me away, please. Just let's have dinner, as friends, I don't ask for anything more."

"Sorry Delly, but the rumor it's already running and if I go to your apartment it will only confirm it. And I don't need the CPS social worker digging on my private matters. I have to get to work, we'll talk later."

I cut the call before she could respond. I put on my apron, prepared the frosting pipes and started working on the first cake. But the thought of what Delly said about Katniss coming back home, and having a child were disturbing me. I know I have no claim over Katniss, and if she got involved with somebody else and had a child was not exactly my business, no matter how much I still loved her. For some reason I didn't understand, I felt a hint of hope in the depths of my being.

Sae, as usual, brought me a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll around 10, and congratulate me for the beautiful design I was working on. It was a birthday cake for a little girl and everything was flowing naturally. With her usual good humor she told me that I had done well to cancel the date with Delly and that she was sure that very soon I would find someone who would really make me very happy.

Unable to contain myself, I asked.

"Is it true that  _she_  will return to Panem?" —If there was a person who found out about all the town gossip, that's Sae.

" _She_ , who is  _she_?" —she asked, playing innocent. But her funny look told me that she knew very well what my question was.

"Sae, please, you know that I'm asking about Katniss. Is it true that she's coming back to town? And that she has a kid?"

Her face split into a big smile. "About was time boy! I thought you were still holding on to that grudge for what happened so many years ago. We all always knew that you have never been able to stop loving her. "

"Sae please!" —I covered my face with my hands, feeling like the worst idiot on the planet— "Do people in this town really consider me so stupid as to be talking behind my back and making bets on things that happened five years ago?"

She came up to me and caressed my face maternally.

"My boy, you and that girl grew up here, and you kids and your love story won the hearts of many, specially when you challenged your mother; may she rest in peace. Everyone in town knew that Maureen didn't want Katniss for you, just because of the fact that Katniss' mother Lilly; may she rest in peace too, had been your father's girlfriend many years before you two were born.

My face must had lost all color, because Sae began to laugh. My brain was running a thousand times a second.

"My dad was Katniss's mother boyfriend? But the Everdeens didn't even lived here? They were from The Seam. Katniss came to town when she was sixteen years old, after her parents died." —I muttered.

"Take a break from that boy. They will not come to pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. This is a story you need to hear. Take a seat." —She said pointing to one of the kitchen stools, and sat across from me.

"A little over twenty-five years ago, Lilly Stone, the apothecaries' daughter, was the girlfriend of Graham Mellark, the baker's only son —yes my child, this bakery belonged to your grandparents— they were together since they were kids. After high school, Graham decided he didn't want the bakery, so the Mellarks sold it to me, and he went to the Capitol and became a law student. Lilly stayed at the Community College to study Pharmacy. They tried to maintain the relationship, but after a year your dad decided to break up. Apparently he was going out with an art student he had met in the Capitol; your mom. Lilly was heartbroken for a while, until she met James Everdeen. James was just a poor miner from the Sean that she met when he came here to help his best friend, Hunter Hawthorne, with a move."

"That's Gale's dad. Right?"

"Yes. He was about one year old, and his parents decided to buy a property here to open their Laundry, which they still own. Hazelle didn't want Hunter to keep working in the mines. She and Lilly became very good friends, she met James through them and after a while they started dating. When your father knew, he realized he had made a mistake, he broke up with Maureen, and came back to town. Lilly still loved him, and they were about to get back together, but then Maureen came here to confront Graham with a positive pregnancy test...you my boy. Lilly couldn't take it, she felt betrayed once more, and she decided to elope with James because she couldn't bear to see your father again. Obviously, her parents disowned her, they never approved of James and they loved Graham. He tried to convince them to don't do that, because it was his fault that Lilly ran away, but they didn't oblige. They sold the apothecary and moved the west coast. Your dad married Maureen for compromise. That's why your mom was always so protective of you. You were her winning card. When word came to town that Lilly was pregnant, only two months after she ran away with Everdeen, a lot of people thought the baby was your father's too, and that made Maureen very jealous and possessive of Graham. She even quit her studies because she had to take care of the baby so Graham could go back to the Capitol to finish his career."

"Yeah. She told me once that she had to quit her studies because of the pregnancy. Because she had to stay home so dad could finish."

"Well...that is a half truth, she could have finished too, your grandmother Mags would have helped them, she was very supportive and she adored you. But, your mom thought that if she was totally dependent, your father would never leave her, because he would never abandon you. So she did."

"You're making my mother sound like a manipulative bitch." I tried to defend her.

"No honey, I liked Maureen, she turned out to be a nice woman and a good mother. And I know she can not defend herself, but that is the truth of what happened, she didn't play very nice at the beginning. But most folks thought she acted that way because she was so in love with Graham, she didn't want to lose him. Years passed, your parents settled here, much to Maureen's displease at the beginning may I say, and their marriage had their ups and downs, but they managed. You were the glue that kept them together, and I want to think that over time, she won over your dad. Then they had Prim and their marriage was solid, it seemed that they had overcome all that teenage drama. But the rumor about Lilly's baby being Graham's never died, and that always ate your mom's entrails. She never stopped seeing Lilly as a rival, even when Graham was totally committed to their marriage. When Katniss came here, not many people recognized her as Lilly's daughter. Abernathy is James' second cousin, and very few people know that. When you two started dating, and Maureen discovered who was her mother, she snapped. Even when she realized she wasn't in fact Graham's child; since Katniss is a living portrait of her father, she never could overlook the fact that the daughter of her rival was now going to take her son. And, God forgive me for talking bad about the dead, I know she had a black hand in your break up."

I was astounded— "We didn't break up, she dumped me. You're making my mom look like a monster Sae. And she wasn't. She never would have done anything to hurt me. Katniss cheated on me, that's what happened. My mom never had anything to do with that."

Now I was angry at Sae. It wasn't fair that my mom was being attacked. She wasn't here to defend herself. I got up, took the pipping sleeve and began to work on the cake, not wanting to hear anything else. I could feel Sae's hands con my shoulders.

"My dear boy. I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way, but, it's important that at least you know why your mother never accepted your relationship with Katniss. And that might have been a big reason for her to...dump you, as you put it. And to answer your question, yes, she's coming back home. About if she has a kid, I don't know. But you should give her a chance to explain. I know you still love her, and she might still love you too. What else it takes to be together for two people who are in love?"

I turned to her and kiss her temple.

"Trust Sae. It takes trust."

That evening I went home with a deep pain in my heart. The story about my parents marriage was one I had heard a lot of times, but this version...it was a complete new one, one that made my mother look like a horrible witch. I grew up in that house. My father was always bringing her gifts and flowers and never forgot a birthday or anniversary. He loved her, and she was happy. Yeah it's true that when I was younger, way before Prim was born, they often fought, and my mom even told me once they were several times on the brink of divorce. But they always worked it out because of me.

But some things now made sense. The reason of her sudden change of attitude towards Katniss after the first time she came to have dinner with us. She always wanted me to go to the Capitol and finish my masters in Arts. She was so proud of me when I told her I wanted to do that. But then she told me I would never succeed if I had to drag Katniss along with me. She was so happy when she dumped me, and when I had seen her kissing with Gale; even when she saw how much I was hurt, she kept saying to me that Katniss never deserved me and she always knew her type.

" _But Gale told me that they were never together. And now she's coming back, five years later, with a kid and probably a husband. Was that what Gale meant about not being his to tell, that she moved on? Then why he told me to call her? Even if I had the chance to know what happened, I will never get her back."_

I felt so stupid for clinging on to hope for the last year and doing nothing about it—  _"Maybe if I had called her when Gale told me ... no, she has a child!"_  —and then I remembered the woman I saw at the entrance of the cemetery on the day of my parents' funeral.

 _"Would it have been her? Dammit! I need to end this already or I'm going to go crazy!_ "

My cell phone beeped with another text message. Delly had been writing to me all day long apologizing a thousand times and begging me to come to her house.

_"To hell, I'm going to have dinner with Delly, whatever happens, happens. Whether it was my mother's fault or not, if Katniss could forget about me and start a new life, I need to do the same, I'm not going to let her see me as an idiot failure who is still whining for her."_

I took my jacket and prepared to leave when the doorbell rang. As I opened the door and saw who was standing there, my brain went to basic survival mode. The very reason for my madness.

And now, she was here, right in front of me, without any advance warning.

"Hi, Peeta."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Sorry for the delay, my internet service crashed yesterday.
> 
> Did you think he did well to cancel his date with Delly? What about Sae's story?
> 
> And, after everything he learned, she's finally here, and...she has a child?
> 
> How will Peeta react...will see.
> 
> Please, leave me your thoughts. Please forgive any grammatical errors, I try my best, but English is not my first language and this is un beta-ed, so, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> See you next week.
> 
> XOXO, Lizzyvb


	7. An unexpected revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss returns to face Peeta. And he has an unexpected revelation than can turn his life upside down.

_"Hi Peeta."_

She had always called me by my given name, never used a pet name or a nickname — _Peet_ — like people at school and my family.

I stood there, my eyes taking her in. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her gray eyes with soft specks of brown, her long silky black hair worn down, which was always my undoing. I had to use all my will not to run my fingers through it, as I used to do.

"Hi," was all I was able to say as my brain refused to cooperate in forming a coherent sentence.

She tried to smile at me, but her eyes reflected some sort of mix between panic and shame.

"H...how have you been?" she enquired with her melodic and soft voice. I had always loved to listen to her, and found myself wondering if her laughter still sounded like the heavenly choir as it had more than five years ago. But hearing her voice also pulled me out of my stupor. So I put all my defenses up.

"What do you want?"

At that moment, the shock of seeing her had reduced my ability to speak properly or think clearly to a minimum.

"I'm came back home just a few hours ago and I, I wanted to see you, talk to you. I...I missed you."

I chuckled sarcastically.

“You missed me? Really. Forgive me for finding that hard to believe."

"Peeta, please. I'm" —she hesitated— "I just wanted to see you, to see how you were..."

"Well you saw me, and I'm fine thank you." —I replied— "I appreciate your concern but I was just on my way out."

I could see how her beautiful face contracting in an almost imperceptible grimace of sadness. Anyone who didn't know her well wouldn't have noticed, she tried to hide it with her usual mask of indifference —I smiled to myself seeing that there were things that had not changed in her, and my treacherous heart took a leap of joy.

"Oh! Yeah...I'm sorry. I heard you were dating Delly Cartwright. Apparently your hot romance is the talk of the moment in town. You have a date with your girlfriend then?"

Now I was pissed off. Really pissed off because the stupid false rumors were going out of control. But I tried to hide it. Because of her annoyed tone, it seemed that she was upset by my supposed romance with Delly.

_"Good,_ _now she knows how it feels."_ But I changed the subject.

"Are you visiting your uncle?"

She avoided my gaze. "Actually, I'm back for good. I...moved back with my...family."

I felt the knots in my stomach tightening — _"My family"_ — so she probably moved back with a husband and her child.

"I heard you have a kid...I...congratulations. I know it's maybe a little late but, I hadn't had the chance." —she nodded, still avoiding my eyes— "Listen I...I really need to go Katniss. It was nice of you to stop by. I'm glad to see you again, maybe I'll see you around. You look very good. Motherhood suits you well."

“Peeta. Please." —She said blocking the door so I couldn't close it— "I know what I did was wrong but it wasn't how it looked. You always avoided me after we broke up and I never had the chance to..."

I interrupted her at this point.

"We didn't break up. You dumped me to pursue another relationship. And you avoided me. I just put a finish to the awkwardness. There was no point in remaining friends on social media just for the sake of appearances. It was clear to me that you moved on, and I was right, you did. It was time for me to do the same and stop clinging to hope."

I could see in her eyes that she realized at that moment how much I was still hurting. I saw sadness. I saw pity. I also saw something else. But I couldn't identify it.

"Please let me in." she pleaded.

"Why? Why did you come? To torment me? To rub in my face how you masterfully got over me while I was the idiot who still mooned for you? Well you're wrong. And excuse me, but I don't have time for you. I have a date with my girlfriend now. I don't see a reason to waste my time with you."

That hurt her. I could see that. I also saw the tears that formed in her eyes but I lied to myself that I didn't care. I had to protect myself and I wasn't going to show her how much I still loved her.

"I suppose I deserve that. What I did back then was wrong and I did it for the wrong reasons. I should have talked to you no matter how that would have ended. But I was only 17 years old, and I didn't know how to react."

She pulled something out of her handbag and held it out towards me. It was an envelope with my name on it.

“Please read it. You know I'm no good with words. So I wrote you this. I tried to explain everything. Please, don't judge me until you know the truth."

I looked at the envelope and took it mumbling an, "Ok, I'll take it."

I started to pull the envelope out of her fingers but she held onto to it until I looked up and into her eyes.

"Peeta, I'm really sorry for everything I did."

"You want me to take it or not?"

Somewhat reluctantly she let go of the envelope.

"Take care Katniss, bye." I closed the door in her face but still heard her parting sentence,

"I never stopped loving you."

With trembling fingers, I locked the door and turned around to lean against it. I was severely shaken by the confrontation and felt that I was close to crying. I took a couple of deep breaths, waiting for my body to adjust to the sudden change in adrenaline before I left the small entrance hall and entered the kitchen to sit down at the table.

_“Moron!"_ —I said to myself— _"Why didn't you just ask her what you need to know and end all of this once and for all?_ _You're a masochistic and cowardly imbecile who doesn't want to hear the truth and accept that she's no longer yours, and she will never be again. She has moved on, and has a life and a family of her own. Instead, you behave like an immature asshole."_

The doorbell rang again.

_"She came back!”_ I thought. I could not lose this opportunity. So I took a deep breath, got up from the chair stretching my neck and shoulders and opened the door.

“Listen Kat ..." —but it was not Katniss waiting on the other side. Wearing a sleeveless pink 50's dress —polka dots included— white flat shoes, perfect hair and makeup and armed with a large white bag that hung from her shoulder and a glass casserole covered with foil, was a smiling Delly.

"Hey Peet!"

_"Seriously this girl doesn't give up!"_ I was already scared. This was quickly approaching harassment level.

"Delly what are you doing here? I told you this morning I wasn't going to your apartment." I said sternly.

She just giggled and passed by my side, uninvited.

"Yes silly. You said that you weren't coming to my house, but didn't say anything about me coming to yours. You have to eat anyway, so I brought dinner to you." she said walking to the kitchen, as it was the most logical thing in the world.

Outraged by her audacity, I followed her to the kitchen.

"I think you're missing the point. I meant I wasn't having dinner with you at all..."

"Who was that I just saw leaving?" she interrupted me getting a bottle of wine out of the bag and placing it in the fridge.

"Who was who?"

I was starting to get really irritated, as she moved around the kitchen grabbing plates and putting the casserole to heat in the microwave. She was acting like she owned the place.

"I don't think I need to give you explanations about who comes to my house." I said taking the plates from her hand and placing them back in the cabinet.

She looked at me sadly.

"Peeta, I know you're upset, and I'm really sorry. I know it was very wrong of my mom to start saying that there was something more than a simple friendship between us, but I swear she didn't do it with bad intentions. She came to conclusions when I told her that we were going to have dinner together, you have no idea how happy she was. Remember, she was always a great friend of your mother, and she told me recently that Maureen always liked the idea of you and I as a couple."

"So you had my mom's blessing? And where does that leave what I wanted."

"Peeta please, I'm not asking for anything in return. Let's just have dinner as friends."

"Delly, I..."

"I promise you that there is no second intention, and that I won't be trying to engage you in a relationship with me," she said taking my hands, "I'm not going to pressure you with that, and I'll respect your space. But please don't run away from me. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend, than not to have you at all" she begged, her eyes shining with tears.

I looked into her icy blue eyes intensely, looking for some hint of guilt or honesty in them. What I found was a manipulative look, capable of anything to achieve its objective. I let out a small sigh and shook my head.

“Delly, I'm sorry. You know what you say is not true. If we have dinner now, after all the rumors your mother has been spreading, tomorrow she will be handing out wedding invitations. I need you to leave my home now... "

She pounced on me, tangled her hands in my hair and crashed her lips over mine. I tried to push her off, but I lost balance falling backwards to the floor with her on top of me. She took the opportunity to straddle me while she tried to force her tongue into my mouth. It didn't last long, as I managed to get away from her grip quickly.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Delly! Have you completely lost your mind?" I stated angrily, quickly getting off the floor and behind the kitchen island. She got up slowly and looked at me with sadness, but with a hint of hope in her eyes.

"Did you feel the same as me when we kissed? Because I felt the butterflies in my stomach and my heart wants to explode."

"You're completely crazy! I didn't kiss you, Delly! You attacked me and filled my mouth with snot and saliva! If that was a kiss meant to make me feel something beyond disgust —because that's the the only feeling you have inspired in me— you have serious mental problems! Now get the hell out of my house or I'm calling the cops!”

Delly's facial expression changed in front of my eyes. Her eyes darkened and her face turned completely red. She looked like a woman possessed by a demon.

"What the hell happened to you, Peeta? I've always loved you, since we were kids! Our mothers always wanted us to be together! But you only had eyes for that flat chested, stupid prude Katniss Everdeen. I'm more beautiful, and have more class than her. And I know you have notice that. I've seen you looking at me. God, she doesn't even have table manners!"

If Delly had been a man, I would have hit her in the face at that very moment.

“You know why I looked at her and never at you? Because she, without making any effort, is able to make everyone turn to look at her. Because she is sincere, honest, and compassionate. Because when she believes in someone or something, she defends them passionately. Because she assumes the consequences of her decisions with dignity, and doesn't try to accommodate to the likes of others when she doesn't agree with something. Contrary to you, who in order to be friends with everyone, allowed things to happen that were wrong. Laughing with the bullies when they abused and tormented the defenseless, surrounding yourself with airhead girls who only lived to look in the mirror and make fun of others. Always trying so desperately to get everyone's attention. I would never notice someone as superficial as you, no matter how beautiful you think you are. Katniss always —listen to me, Delly— she was always going to be above you. And if I went back, even knowing what was going to happen, I would be with her again. You know why? Because I loved her with all my being, and I would try to love her even more so that she would never have left me. Because despite everything, I still love her, even though I know can never have her again. And I'm never ever going to love anyone that way, let alone someone like you. You are the kind of woman that a man like me looks to only for a moment of pleasure, never for a life together. So get the idea out of your head that at some point you'll make me fall in love with you, because that will never, ever happen."

I knew that I had been petty and cruel, but Delly had already managed to surpass my limits of patience. I wanted her a thousand light years away from me. However, her face denoted neither sadness nor anger. She had a mocking expression. She took three steps to the kitchen island and took the bag with a loud chuckle.

"Disgust? That's what you should feel for yourself. Do you know why she left you? Because your dear mother showed her the results of a hair DNA test that connected her to your father.Or maybe you never heard the rumors? She left the town embarrassed because she discovered that her mother was a harlot who had an illegitimate daughter with an engaged man and she blamed it on another fool. Katniss is the daughter of Graham Mellark. You slept with your own sister my dear. And she ran away because she was pregnant with the child of her own brother, and, like her mother, tried to blame it on another man. But Gale Hawthorne wasn't as foolish as her " _father_ " Everdeen. If that's not disgusting in your book, you're the one who has problems. "

Delly walked out of the kitchen door laughing like a maniac, leaving me stupefied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! 
> 
> First of all I want to give a special thanks to Nickermoodle for proofing this chapter and giving me a few good pointers. Sometimes my English really sucks and it feels really good to have someone helping you along the way.
> 
> So...Katniss returned, with a family. He assumes that there is a husband involved since she has a kid...will he be assuming correctly?
> 
> What about Delly showing off her true colors and the revelation that may change their lives? We have not see the last of her, because she is determined to get him.I'm starting to work on next chapter. 
> 
> As always, your thoughts always help.
> 
> Love you all, see you next week with Chapter 8.
> 
> XOXO Lizzyvb


	8. Gale's tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Delly's shocking revelation, how will Peeta react?
> 
> ***WARNING: Graphic description of miscarriage***

_**Coming Home** _

_**Chapter 8:** _ **_Gale's tale_ **

After Delly left my house, it took me a few seconds to process what that harpy had just told me.

_"Katniss is the daughter of Graham Mellark, you slept with your own sister, my dear."_

No, it was impossible. Katniss could not be my father's daughter. Sae herself told me, precisely this morning! Those were just rumors spread by the town's gossips, and if we ran elections for that, Mrs Cartwright could be by far margin the gossip club president.

_"But, could it be true that my mother showed Katniss a DNA test that linked her genetically with my father?"_ I felt the floor moving under my feet. I felt dizzy and nauseated, and took a few steps backwards until I leaned on the kitchen counter. No, My mother couldn't be capable to invent a monstrosity like that. I refused to believe it.

_"But Katniss doesn't have any physical trait that links her to a Mellark. She doesn't even looks like her late mother, who was blonde with blue eyes. My father and my grandfather were also blue eyed blondes. Katniss has black hair and gray eyes like her fat... shit!"_ —I covered my face with my hands— _"Grandma Mags."_ —I started hyperventilating, nobody ever thought about that— " _Katniss could've easily inherited the traits of my grandmother, who was a foreman's daughter from the Seam. My mother suspected that and...shit, she was right!"_

I felt dizzy and short of breath, and tried to get to the bathroom, but the vomit was coming up like hot lava through my esophagus, and I only managed to throw myself over the sink, before the retching began.

"No! Please God no!" tears were streaming through my eyes.

My mind went back to the day I met Katniss, when we were just sixteen. How I felt attracted to her from the first moments our eyes met. How we got to know each other and became best friends, while I worked up the courage to confess my feelings for her, after she bewitched me with her melodic voice and silver eyes. My mind traveled to that beautiful spring day, the day of her seventeenth birthday. I took her to the lake, where I had set a picnic —that Sae had help me prepare for her, cake and all— under a big willow tree. We spent the whole afternoon laughing and swimming in the warm fresh water. And, at sunset, we sat on the big rock that stands out by the side of the lake. I remembered how she leaned her head on my shoulder, and I was nervously trying to collect myself, but failing miserably, since my hands were trembling. She laughed, thinking I was cold, and pulled me up to get a blanket, but I hold her hands, and she looked at me confused. Then I took a big breath, and told her the speech I had been rehearsing in front of the mirror for weeks. A speech that is still fresh on my memory to this day, almost six years later.

_"Katniss. Since the first day I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. But I was intimidated by your strong will, your tenacity and your courage. That's why it took me a few months before I could say a word to you. But that day in the music room, when I heard you sing, you took my breath away. Since then, we became friends, and I learned that you are also compassionate, loyal, honest, and you love fiercely. Qualities that, added to the ones that made me intimidated at first, made me realize what an incredible girl you are, beautiful inside and out, and you took my heart too, a little bit more every day. I am in love with you Katniss Everdeen. And, if you don't feel the same way about me, that's okay, I'd never hold that against you, because I want to have you in my life in any way I can._ _But if you feel something for me beyond our friendship, even if it is just a little bit, I would like you to give me the chance to be more than friends, to let me show you how special you are to me, and everything you make me feel. Katniss, will you be my girlfriend?"_

She was trembling, with tears in her eyes when I finished talking, and I was so scared that she would run away, but she just gave me that sweet smile she reserves only for a few people, and nodded. I was speechless for a few seconds, until I reacted and asked, _"Is that a yes? Will you allow it?"_

She took a step closer, cupped my face between her soft hands and stood up on her tiptoes to reach my lips with hers. I felt electric charges running through my body at the soft contact of her lips. Then, with a shy smile, she whispered, _"I thought you'd never ask. And yes, I'll allow it."_

I shook my head at the memory. No, I refuse to accept that. Delly had to be lying. I have only one sister, Primrose. And the feelings that she inspires in me are very different from those I feel for Katniss. Although I love them both with my whole being and would give my life for any of them, the feelings are different. Radically different. With Prim is more a protective instinct, filled with tenderness, and there's an innocent complicity between us. Katniss...my blood boils just thinking of the slightest contact of our skins. She awakens in me a raging passion and desire that consumes me. She is also my soul mate, a feeling that goes beyond the incredible physical attraction I feel for her. We used to communicate without the need of words. We were so synchronized that we knew exactly what the other was thinking. That's why I felt so devastated we she dumped me. One day we were happily making plans for our future after graduation, and the next morning, _bum!_ she dropped the bomb, telling me that she wasn't ready for a committed relationship, and that she could never fit in my plans because we had different ambitions. That was rubbish. I knew she had a full scholarship for the Sorbonne University in Paris. She was incredibly brilliant. And I had already been accepted in Paris School of Arts. She knew that also. I was going to surprise my mother with that, so that she could be sure that I was going to follow my dream, and that being with Katniss didn't mean I gave up on it, but that she made me want more. We were going to Europe together. But then, everything was so...sudden, her change of attitude so... strange. As if she was...repulsed by me.

_"Shit. Of course she felt repulsed. Mother told her she was dad's daughter. With an evidence in hand that no 18 year old_ would ever dare to refute _. Damn! And we had sex the day before. Oh God!"_

I felt another wave of nausea hitting my stomach as that realization came to my head. If that aberration was true, that could mean that I've had intimacy with my own sister. Even worse, it would mean that I took my own sister's virginity. I started retching again, more violently than before. I was sweaty and dizzy. That repulsive statement had to be a lie. A lie designed for the sole purpose of hurting Katniss. Badly. And for the first time in my life, I hated my mother. If she said that to her, but she hid it from me, it only meant that she did it with the express intention of hurting her, provoking a chain reaction that would made me hate her and that we end up separating. The worst thing is that she and whoever helped her put together this disgusting hoax did it. They managed to separate us.

I screamed the top of my lungs, and started sobbing like I've never done in my entire life. My brain was scrambled, trying to put my ideas in order, but I felt like it has been splitted in two. " _Gale_." —I thought— " _Gale has to have the answers."_

I search my clothes to reach my phone, but it wasn't in my pockets. I left it on the coffee table. Grabbing the counters for balance, I wobbled in the direction of the living room, but the dizziness took over me and I fell to the floor, hitting my head with something sharp, and everything went black.

...

_"Peeta! Peeta! Come on Mellark wake up! You're scaring the shit out of me!"_

I felt light slaps on my face and something cold on the left side of my head. Even in my semi-unconscious state, I could sense the concern in the voice of Gale, who had become my great friend and counselor for the past year. I frowned, trying to open them, at his insistent plea for me to wake up. I did not have much success, since the powerful white light of the kitchen blinded me. So I groaned, to let Gale know I could hear him.

"Peet!" —He cried with a hint of relief— "Oh thank God, you finally woke up! You scared me horribly!"

Slowly, he helped me to sit, but I leaned back on the floor because I felt instantly dizzy again.

"Awgh" I whimpered in pain. My head felt like it was split in two.

"Easy man, take it easy. You took a nasty hit on the head. Madge is coming with my mother to check on you. I didn't want to call an ambulance, unless it was absolutely necessary. No need in making a big deal of anything that flibbertigibbet gossiper is boasting around in town. I'll deal with her tomorrow." —he said with a hint of contempt.

"What happened to me?" —I asked frowning in confusion. I really didn't remember a thing.

Gale raised his eyebrows worried and stand up, looking inside the cabinets.

"I was eating with Madge at the Hob, when that crazy lunatic Delly got there, laughing because she had told you the " _truth about Katniss",_ according to her. I ran out of the restaurant and came as fast as I could, and I find you on the floor unconscious in a pool of blood and puke! I almost had a heart attack! You really don't remember what happened?"—He asked turning around and kneeling again, passing me a glass of water and two pills.

"Not much." —I admitted. But suddenly all the memories flashed in my brain— "No...yes...I remember! I saw her. Katniss! Sh..she came here, and she—" Gale made me swallow the pills and I gulped them with water— "she wanted to apologize and tell me what happened all those years ago. But I...I didn't want to speak to her. I'm not ready yet, and she...she gave me a letter and left. Then Delly came, she was insisting on having that stupid dinner date, but I said no and, I asked her to go. She went nuts, babbling some nonsense about Katniss being my sister, that my mother chased her away showing her a paternity test of some sorts, and that she left town because she was...pregnant with my child!" —everything came back with full force.

I looked at Gale with wide eyes, and I grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt.

"Tell me what the hell happened Gale! You know! Is that true? That she left town because she was pregnant with my child. Did she hid it and never told me anything! That child, the one they say she came with, is mine?" —Gale lowered his eyes and breathed deeply, but that gesture only managed to infuriate me more— "Answer me, dammit! Enough of hiding things from me, I'm not a porcelain doll, I'm sick of the lies. What was not yours to tell?"

He took another deep breath and lifted me slowly. "Come with me man, you're going to need to be seated, and don't let go of that ice pack, you have a huge bump on your head."

We walked slowly to the kitchen table and I sat on one of the chairs. When I got up I saw the mess in the floor, a small puddle of blood and puke. I reeked of both, and my clothes were stained. Gale disappeared momentarily upstairs. A few minutes later he came down with a wet towel and a clean T-shirt.

"Take this, clean your face and hair and change that shirt. Please." —he said handling me both things. I looked at him with apprehension, but did as he said and minutes later, I felt a little cleaner, at least I didn't reek of puke anymore. He sat in front of me and sighed again.

"Peeta you have to understand that we —as in your dad and I— didn't told you a lot things because I wasn't even sure myself. It wasn't until I came back and started working with Graham than we both knew what really happened. Six years ago, something happened. One day Katniss called me to come to her house. She said you two broke up—"

"She dumped me!" I interrupted and Gale lifted his hands defensively.

"Okay okay! She dumped you. Anyway, she asked me to go to her house. She was a mess. She was crying, saying that she wanted to die, that she was...dirty and your relationship was repugnant. I didn't understand, so I got really angry, and I wanted to go to your house and break your nose, because I thought at the time she was suffering because of something you did. She said no, that it was your mother, but she never said what was it. All she said to me was that she needed to get rid of you for good. I was starting to date Madge, and, nobody knew about us because we didn't want her father to forbid her to see me, because we were of two different social classes."

"The Undersees are not like that!" I felt the need to defend his father in law.

"I know." —He smiled— "But at that time I was terrified of the man. So I, reluctantly, agreed to that stupid plan of hers, with Madge's blessing of course. So next day I went by the school to meet her and when we saw you coming...well you know the rest."

My hand balled into a fist when I remembered him, with Katniss pinned against his old battered 70's Chevy truck, kissing her, her legs wrapped around his waist. It was disgusting.

He made a grimace.

"She got a little carried away. I had saliva all over my face when you turned and go. She started sobbing and I took her home. She was really devastated. But she said it was necessary. After you guys graduated, I had already finished my associate degree in Criminal Justice at the Community College, and Madge's mom —who supported our relationship from the start— helped me get a scholarship to study law in Oxford. That's why we traveled together, but I was going to London and she was going to Paris. We lost contact for two years after that. She didn't even answered my calls or messages, she didn't post anything on social media, and Haymitch was no use. He's drunk most of the time. What I can tell you is that after those two months between graduation and us traveling to Europe, she found out she was pregnant."

I felt that my heart fell to my stomach. I felt betrayed. " _I had fathered a child, and she never told me!"_

"How could she—" I blurted, but Gale cut me.

"She lost it!" —he screamed to me, making me jump. He shook his head looking directly into my eyes— "We only found out when we arrived at the airport in Paris. I had to board the flight to London, but she had been complaining that she felt very bad and had a severe pain in her abdomen. When we arrived, she fell down on the floor and we had to take her to the hospital. There, in the emergency room, she had an uncontrolled bleeding. The doctors who took care of her thought that I was her boyfriend, and they told me that they were sorry, but that she had had a spontaneous abortion. She was twelve weeks pregnant and didn't know. The next day she told me she had called Haymitch. She told me that Haymitch would come to be with her. I should have known, she was lying to me. She asked me not to lose my flight to London, and plead me not mention anything about the pregnancy to anybody, that it was no use since she had lost it." —he lowered his eyes, ashamed— "I should not have kept quiet, maybe someone had come to help her. I wasn't a good friend. The following weeks, she arrived at the apartment that she had rented with another girl from Panem. Talk to her a few times, but I notice her extremely depressed. One month later, She stop writing and calling. I tried to look for her, but, nobody gave me information about her, I didn't know the name of her roommate. She only called her Jo. I returned to London and two years went by. When I returned to Paris to look for her, she looked very thin and unhappy. I met her friend, Jo. Johanna Mason was her name. She was loud and crazy, but she cared deeply about Katniss. She was doing her biology studies, but she was very behind, she was supposed to be at least two years ahead, and she had not even completed the first year. I met there this guy Cato Snow. A rich imbecile who prowled the apartment. I never knew his real intentions, but I think Jo lived at war with him. When I graduated, she was finishing her third year. I came back home, and your dad gave me a job at the firm. He even made me a junior partner, and took me under his wing. When you were coming home for the summer, I avoided him and stop coming to the house, and he asked me what had happen between all of us. I told him the truth. He didn't bought it, and we started digging to find out what had really happened. When I found out about the paternity test, Graham was as mad as I ever saw him. He confronted your mother, and they had a huge fight over it. The paternity test was fake, it was made using a sample of Prim's hair. She confessed that she wanted Katniss out of your life, and that she was willing to do anything to spook her, but she denied having tampering with samples. She sworn the hair sample was Katniss'. Do you know who took the test to the lab? Ms Cartwright, the same woman who, for years plotted to tie you with her crazy daughter. She had a cousin working there, and they switched the samples with Prim's hair, so the test came back positive. Your mother, although not entirely blameless, really thought it was real. But when I told her about the miscarriage, she lost it. She cried for a week, full of regret and guilt, and she was waiting for you to come back home for Christmas to tell you. But two weeks after that, the accident happened. We have a sue pending against the lab, and we were going to press criminal charges against Ms Cartwright and her cousin Antonius. But it was stopped when Graham died. The most important thing at the moment was to secure you as Prim's legal guardian. And we almost have it. As mad as you may be now, we need to lay low for the next month or so, Then, I promise to submit it again. They have to pay for what they did to you two."

I stood in that chair stupefied, listening to Gale's tale. How could my own mother have been so cruel at the time, harboring old quarrels against someone who was not even born when all that rubbish between our parents happened, like an old eighteenth-century novel. How much must Katniss have suffered, losing our child, all alone without anyone knowing. Thinking that we were siblings and that all that happened to her was like a punishment for loving me. How stupid, insensible, immature and selfish of me to cut her out of my life without giving her the chance to trust me and tell me what happened. Damn Haymitch for being so irresponsible and not caring and protecting his niece as he should have. He only cared about that damn bar and, just because he had a partner, because he alone would probably have taken the business to bankruptcy.

Only one thing ate my insides.

"What about the child she has now? Who's the father? That...Cato Snow?"

Gale gave me an apologetic glance.

"That's what is not mine to tell my friend. She wrote you a letter." —He handed me the envelope that Katniss left me— "Read it."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Hi there everybody.
> 
> I'm sorry I haven't been able to update for the past two weeks. Sadly, one of my brothers (I have six, and one sister), passed away unexpectedly on July 29th. He lived in Hartford, Connecticut, and my mother and I had to travel from Puerto Rico where we live to make the arrangements and bring him back home to be buried alongside my father. It was a very draining, intense and difficult task, since I had to take the reigns of everything because my poor mother broke-down. It's not natural to have to bury your kid. I just imagine it and my heart breaks. He was only 39, and left behind two great kids, my 11 year old beautiful and sweet niece Julie Ann and my 18 year old nephew Joshua. We were not very close, because of a big fight we had a little over three years ago, and me and my other 6 siblings have to live with the guilt that we never spoke to him again, but I promised my brother that from now on, I will look over his kids like my own, and I intend to do so. Please, your prayers are very welcome.
> 
> Now, about the story. I was a little off key, but I was able to put together Peeta's reaction to Delly's malicious revelation. He was fighting with himself, because he was thorn between the repulsive idea of having fallen in love and being intimate with his own sister and his refusal to accept that his mother could be capable of inventing a lie of that proportions just to hurt and chase away an 18 year old orphan girl whose only sin was being the daughter of her former youth rival and having fallen for her son. But, as I said in earlier chapters, Gale's role in helping Peeta cope with a new set of circumstances will be very important, because he knew things he wasn't allowed to reveal. 
> 
> About Katniss' child, I hope that at least you are calm with the idea that it's not Peeta's, that she never hid a pregnancy from him. And ... he has the letter. In it we will know Katniss' version of the story, and what she did in Europe for almost six years, why she was she was behind in her studies and how she ended up with a child. This story is not very long, maybe four or five chapters left ... but who knows? Please review and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> XOXO, Lizzyvb


	9. Prim's Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta feels very overwhelmed for all the things he recently discovered about his mother, and the real reason why Katniss dumped him so unceremoniously five years ago , and is thorned between his desire to know Katniss' side of the story and his fear to discover things he may not like.

I'm an idiot and a coward.

After knowing all the horrid details of how my own mother had been capable to conspire to hurt a defenseless and innocent teenage girl, whose only sin was to have fallen in love with her son, to get rid of her just for the mere fact that she didn't approve of their courtship —without a valid reason, by the way— I couldn't stand it. I locked myself in my house for two days out of anger and shame. No matter how many times my father —God bless his soul— or Gale could have told me she never knew that the test was a fake, the fact that she ordered it made her guilty in my eyes. And knowing how gossips the Cartwrights are, and how meddlesome some townspeople are, even more so now that everyone knows that Katniss came back, the least I want is to go out and be bombarded with a thousand questions on a subject that does not concern anyone. I love my district, and I like to live here, where I grew up and everyone knows and supports each other, but I hate their gossip nature. Thankfully I had manage to finish all the pending orders at the bakery on Friday, so when I call in sick on Saturday morning, Sae just told me to take the days I needed, but, suspicious as always, she also advised me that I shouldn't let myself get carried away by the town gossip. I swear to God that that woman has always known and read me better than my own mother. I couldn't be more grateful to have her in my life.

My phone rang again.

_"Delly."_

That damn crazy cow kept calling me at all hours. She left so many voice messages on my cell phone that it went full, and I left them, so she couldn't leave any more. First thing on Monday morning, I would go to the police to file a report for harassment, and then to my cellphone provider to request a number change. That woman is dangerous, and I don't want her even a mile away. I have to protect my sister, because she is capable of hurting her in order to get away with what she wants.

In her poisonous messages, she kept telling me all the times that she had run into Katniss and her daughter in town, and that the dark blonde hair and brown eyes of the girl, made it more than clear that she should be the living image of her father —a man who obviously wasn't me— and that it was clear to everyone in town that Katniss had moved on, and had made a life with someone else. How everybody laughed at my expense; the lovesick fool who still mooned over a woman who dumped him, and came back just to rub in his face the family she had built with another man. And how, for being an idiot, I was missing the opportunity to honor the memory of my late mother by being together with her, the only one who had always really loved me.

 _"She always loved me? I'm missing the chance to honor my mother's memory?" —_ Fat chance. That was the last thing I wanted to do at this moment. And if harassing a person to exhaustion, plotting lies, threatening and physically attacking that same person is love ... I prefer to stay single for the rest of my life. Delly needs a shrink, fast. Thinking it over, some people have a sickly way of "loving", starting with my mother. What she did, that's not love, that's pure unadulterated selfishness. I never thought I could feel hatred towards my mom, but it is exactly how I feel at the moment. She cost me the love of my life, and I could never forgive her for that.

It was Sunday afternoon, and I was still locked at my place, trying to compose myself. Prim would return from her trip at any time, and I didn't want her to see me worried. So I had dedicated myself to doing all the house chores, so that at least the house wouldn't reflect how miserable I felt. I was in the laundry room folding the last batch of clothes that I had taken out of the dryer, but I couldn't forget Katniss' last words to me before I stupidly slammed the door in her face.

 _"I never stopped loving you."_  Damn it, there is that word again,  _"love"_ , but then she went and committed herself to another. My stomach clenched at the thought.  _"But she believed she was your sister, did she? And you were fooling around with girls at college to, so don't be a hypocrite. But, hasn't she known the truth already? When did it happen? How old is her daughter?"_  Ugh! All the doubts were eating my insides. The letter she had given me lay unopened in a corner of the island in the kitchen. I didn't have the courage to open it and find out things I might not want to know about. But not doing so would mean to keep living without knowing what else happened.

I don't know how long I stood motionless next to the dryer before I heard the front door opening and Primrose calling me.

"Peeta! I'm home!"

"In the laundry room little one!" I answered starting to fold again the same shirt I've had in my hands for the last fifteen minutes and trying to sound casual.

Less than a minute later, she came up behind me and hugged me.

"I missed you dork!"

I turned with a big smile in my face and kissed the top of her head. "I miss you too squirt. I hope you're hungry, I made your favorite, spaghetti and meatballs."

"Yummy! I hope you made me buttermilk biscuits!" she said excited, sporting that beautiful smile that always brighten my day.

"You know I did! Come, let's have some dinner and you will tell me everything about that trip."

"Yeay!" She squealed and clapped her hands in delight. Then we went together to the kitchen laughing. Having Prim back home was a breath of fresh air. She took two plates from the cabinet and sat on one of the stools on the island, where we always had our meals. Since the death of my parents, we had never used the dining room again. It was too painful to sit there and remember all the happy moments that we had as a family. And for me, now it was even more painful, knowing the terrible things my mother had been capable of.

I brought the food and sat across from her, serving two plates, while listening to my little sister telling me everything they did on the farm. From collecting fresh eggs in the morning for their breakfast —and the ensuing egg war that broke out when Bristel Matthews accidentally tripped and knocked the basket off the very intolerant Jakob Thread; the bullying son of our "highly esteemed" local police chief, Romulus Thread— milking the cows and collecting tomatoes, berries and learning to recognize different edible and medicinal herbs.

We were laughing at the tale of the class pranksters, nothing less than the Hawthorne twins Rory and Vick —yes, Gale's younger brothers. Who would imagine?— putting shaving cream on the hands of a sleeping Jakob, to then lightly tickle the tip of his nose with a goose feather, which caused the sleeper to fill his face with the foamy cream trying to scratch unconsciously; while Jason Rooba, the butcher's son, broadcasted it live on Facebook, when Prim noticed the envelope that was in a corner of the end of the island.

"What's that?" she asked curiously, reaching out and taking the envelope.

I opened my eyes in surprise, and tried to take it from her, but she, realizing it, withdrew it in time.

"It's nothing important, it's not even open." I said nonchalantly.

She looked at me incredulously. "Hum, if it's not important, why haven't you thrown it in the trash? It seems to be a personal letter, it has no stamp or address, just says, Peeta." —she grimaced in disgust— "It's not a love letter from that idiot Delly, isn't it?"

Delly. Just hearing the name already gave me chills.

"No honey, it's not hers. Katniss brought it to me."

She frowned as if remembering. "Katniss, Katniss...I remember her! She was your girlfriend in High School!"

"Right. She  _was_  my girlfriend."

Rarely had I stressed a single word as pointedly as the word  _'was'_  in this statement.

"And I don't think we should talk about her. I told you it wasn't important." —I said taking the envelope from her hands and throwing it in the garbage bin— "We're eating dinner. Now, tell me more about the trip."

"Won't you read it? What do you think she wants?"

Damn, she clearly entered puberty fast now and kept challenging my decisions more and more often.

"Primrose Mellark, I said, eat your dinner!" I always used her full name when I wanted to make sure that she really listened to me. But she just took a bite from her plate before she continued.

"I liked her. She was always very nice to me when she was here. And you were head over heels in love with her. I never understood why you two broke up. You were made for each other."

"I know she was always nice to you. But we didn't break up, she dumped me. She hurt me badly and I really don't want to talk about it, so you better stop it now. Tell me about the cow milking, how did it go?"

"Good. It was easy. How did she hurt you?"

Damn that girl had become cheeky! I barely managed to suppress a grin at her insistence.

"Do you want broccoli or fennel with your liver tomorrow?" I said casually with a mocking smile.

"We went to milk the cows two times a day. Early in the morning and then in the evening. I managed to fill a whole paint."

My threat had the desired effect and the topic Katniss was not addressed again during dinner. Knowing what my sister liked and what she didn't definitely had its advantages but I was quite sure that I wouldn't be able to keep that threat up for very long.

After dinner, she went to watch some TV while I cleared away the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. But I soon realized that I wasn't able to concentrate on anything but the letter in the garbage.

_"What could she possibly have written in there? How could she recover from what my mother did to her? How did she find support and comfort in another man's arms? So much so that she decided to start a family with him, even after she knew that everything they had told her about us had been a lie?"_

It's true that I hadn't been a saint, and that I slept with other girls in a stupid attempt to get over her, but I never knew anything about this horrid story. For me, she had dumped me for another. Period.

_"But, what did she meant by telling me she never stopped loving me?"_

Without realizing it, I had been drying the same dish for almost ten minutes, when I felt Prim's arms around my waist.

"I think you should read it." Prim said from behind me.

I bowed my head in defeat.

"I'm afraid."

I felt her jerk a little. For the first time since our parents had died and I had accepted the responsibility to raise her, I had admitted that I was not always on top of everything. That there were things I feared. Things that were beyond my ability to handle.

"That's why you should read it."

My sweet little sister was way smarter than was good for her. Unfortunately, she was right. If I didn't read it, the possible contents of this letter would haunt me forever. But what if I didn't like what she had to say? Wouldn't that haunt me forever as well? Or in the worst-case scenario. If I liked what she said. What would that mean? To be honest, I was not even sure what I wanted to find in that letter. An apology? What would I get out of an apology? It was true that I wasn't over her, but I had moved on. My life had a different focus now than it had then, or even a year ago. The death of my parents had changed everything. Could I get back with her if she asked for it? Why would she want it? What about her family? What were her intentions?

I realized that my sister was still holding me in an effort to provide me with consolation.

"You know, I was wrong. Your weren't head over heels in love with her. You still are, don't you?"

"Yes, I know." I said nodding slightly.

"Well, I think she probably still loves you too."

I turned and looked at the twelve-year-old girl. How the hell could she be so sure of that?

"That's the thing. I don't think I can be sure of that ever again. Not after everything that has happened. Things you couldn't even imagine."

For a short moment, she looked at me with more earnestness than a girl her age should be able to.

"Trust me, I know. And you know it, too. Listen to your heart, not your head. You deserve all the happiness in the world; you are the best guy I know. And if she doesn't see that—which I doubt— then she's a fool. I want to see you happy and whole again. I love you, Bro-dad."

She gave one of those comfort hugs we've become so used to share since our parents death. We were strongly bonded, and I could't be more grateful to have my precious little sister with me in that very moment. She was my very own beacon of peace.

"I love you too, Primrose. Now hush, it's time for bed. You have school tomorrow."

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Read it Peeta. For good or for bad. Good night."

"'Night sweetie."

And with that, she went upstairs to brush her teeth and change into her pajamas. Pensively, I went to the paper bin into which I had thrown the letter. It wasn't there anymore. I furrowed my brows and looked around. It was lying on the armrest of the couch, my name clearly visible. I dropped my ass into the seat and picked up the letter, holding it in one corner, swiveling it, letting it hit my other hand repeatedly.

I brought it to my nose and smelled it but it didn't have a specific odor. I don't know what I had expected, maybe that lavender scent that I have engrained in my senses and that was so her. But it was totally neutral. I turned it over and looked at the backside but it was plain white. The flap had been glued; she hadn't just tucked it into the back. Maybe she hadn't expected me to accept the letter and would have thrown it into the letterbox. She would have wanted the envelope sealed in that case.

After turning the pros and cons over and over in my mind, I finally decided that I needed to know what the letter said. I tore off the corner of the envelope and then pushed my index finger into the hole and tore the rest of the flap.

With slightly trembling fingers, I pulled out a few thick sheets of paper and unfolded them. She hadn't used regular paper, it obviously was of high quality and for an instant, I asked myself how much it had cost but my mind quickly returned to the task in hand and I started reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. I'm sorry that it took me so long to publish again, but ... well, the real life is sometimes a bit complex and I have been a little bit overwhelmed by a lot of changes and new responsibilities.
> 
> This chapter turned out to be a little long, so I divided it into two parts ... don't fear, the letter is already written and in revision, you will not have to wait three more months to know what Katniss has to say to Peeta in that letter. I'm trying to get back to a weekly schedule between chapters.
> 
> Hope you like it. Let me know your comments.


	10. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> This chapter makes references to a miscarriage and suicide attempt. If you are sensible to this. Please do not read.
> 
>  
> 
> Peeta finally reads the letter Katniss gave him explaining what happened during their years apart.

 

" _Peeta:_

_I don't know how many times I have started writing this letter. I have the floor full of crumpled sheets of paper. I didn't even know how to address you. I tried with "My love” and "My Peeta", but it didn't seem right after everything that has happened. So I settled for simply, "Peeta". You'll ask why I came back now, after so much time, and what I was doing. The answer is that I could not keep waiting while there was a minimal possibility of being able to amend my mistakes with you. I know that it is not fair for you, that I suddenly appear out of nowhere, when you have already been able to move on with your life, and that you have other priorities and responsibilities. But I can’t keep on living with the burden of never having told you the truth of why I hurt you the way I did, and to ask for your forgiveness. And if there is in your heart the smallest of chance, I would like to be able to at least be friends again, because you don’t know how much I missed you, because above everything, you were always my best friend.”_

I felt my eyes watering, so I took a long breath to compose myself and continue reading the long letter.

_“Five years ago, I made a huge mistake, one that cost me much more than you could imagine; one that marked my life forever. You know that from the beginning of our relationship, there were people against it, and they were set on taking me out of your life by any means. Two days after Prom, I was confronted with a story that I didn’t know how to handle. It was something so terrible that it destroyed me inside, and I knew that it would destroy you too. So I made the terrible mistake of not trusting you, of not telling you what was really happening. If I had done the right thing, maybe at that moment, the whole truth would have been discovered quickly, and it would have saved us years of suffering. But I wasn’t mature or brave enough to face it, and in my stupid mind, I decided to lie to you too, because I thought it would hurt you less to not find out about the horrible things they told me, because the person who told me those things, meant the world to you, and I could never forgive myself that because of me you got to hate the woman who gave you life. She might have hated me, but you were precious to her, and she adored you with all her being. I never understood why she couldn't stand me, I did everything I could to try to earn her affection and sympathy, but it seemed that the more I tried, the more she hated me._

_That night, after you drop me at my house, she appeared at my door, and handed me a sealed envelope from a laboratory. When I opened it I could not understand what it said. It was a paternity test that established that Graham Mellark, your father, was my true biological father. I threw the papers to your mother, and I told her that she was sick just to imply that you and I could ever be related. But she insisted that it was true, that my mother had wanted to interfere between her and her husband even knowing that she was pregnant, and she only ran away with my father because of the shame that her parents had disowned her because she had gotten pregnant on purpose with a married man, so that he would leave his wife. I couldn't believe what she was saying, and I kicked her out of my uncle's house. That night I went to Haymitch's bar. He was drunk, as always, but I asked him if the story of my mother and your father was true, and he confirmed it to me. He even told me about the rumors that the baby my mother was expecting was your father's; I felt my heart ripped apart, but that day I understood her hatred towards me. Because of my mother. Because she knew I was the daughter of the woman who, eighteen years prior, rivaled her for your father's affection. She was never the most affectionate mother with me, my dad was the one who always spoiled me. And I always heard the rumors that my mother had only married my father out of obligation, but I never thought that she would have been capable to attribute to him the daughter of another man. Even my features are so similar to my father's that I would never have believed it, but then I remembered your grandma Mags. And I saw a lot of pain in your mother's face. She really thought it was true, and she just wanted to protect you. That's why she asked me, she begged me not to tell you. Because she couldn't bear the thought of seeing her son destroyed, thinking he had slept with his own sister. And neither could I. That would be a burden that I would carry alone. So, with my heart broken in a million pieces, I did as she asked, and dumped you with a silly excuse. But you didn't give up on me; you never accepted or believed what I told you. So I had no choice but to make you hate me, to force you to get away from me. I was so selfish in my attempt to make you believe I didn't love you, that I almost cost Gale his relationship with Madge. I would not have forgiven myself if Gale lost the love of his life because of me. But she finally understood, although reluctantly; she never approved what we did. She said you deserved to know the truth, but it was not her decision to make. Now, I know I should have listened to her. I felt devastated, seeing you every day in the school corridors, doing your best to ignore my existence. And at the time, I thought that it was the best, but the pain and disappointment in your eyes every time our glances met felt like a stab in the heart. I cried every night for you. My uncle Haymitch didn't understand why we had broken up; I never told him what was happening. To think that he would also despise me if he found out about my mother's alleged deceit, then I would be completely alone, I was terrified."_

I closed my eyes remembering those dark days. How confused I was when she dumped me saying that she wasn't ready for a long term commitment, the betrayal of seeing her kissing Gale, how much hatred I felt for him, because, although she was the one hurting me, I could never feel anything else but love for her. And that was what ate my guts; that no matter how much I wanted or tried, I couldn’t hate her or take her out of my system. That's why I took her out of all my contacts, changed my number and blocked her from my social networks. Because if I kept having contact with her, I would never be able to move on. In the end it was useless, because, although I started dating again, in four years I was never able to commit into a serious relationship with any other girl, settling for just hooking up occasionally. And I met some really nice girls who really liked me, like Cressida and even Glimmer. But Katniss was always in the back of my mind, and I felt pathetic every day for not being able to forget her. But now, reading this, this could change everything. So I sank further in my couch and continued.

" _I fled to France as soon as summer ended. The weeks before my trip, I hadn't been feeling good, but I attributed it to the stress I was in, the anxiety for the trip and especially the pain of thinking that you despised me for what I did to you. But that day everything exploded. I had horrible cramps during the flight, and I felt nauseated and dizzy. I thought it was the nerves and the sadness, but when I arrived, I had a severe hemorrhage at the airport and I passed out. They rushed me to a hospital in Paris, when I woke up hours later, they told me that I had suffer a miscarriage. My world collapsed completely in that moment. I didn't even know that I was pregnant."_

I felt a punch in my guts. Although Gale had already told me about the pregnancy, reading it from her own hand made it real. I frowned my eyes and took deep breaths trying to control myself, but when I opened them, the tears began to flow uncontrollably at the loss of the baby, my baby, _our baby._

" _Gale stood by my side for a few days. It took a lot of work, but I managed to convince him to go to London —I wasn't going to cost him the chance to achieve his dreams— so I told him that the hospital contacted Haymitch and he was going to come for me. The next day, I left the hospital decided to forget everything, and arrived to the apartment my scholarship provided. There I met my roommate, Johanna Mason. She was a sophomore from Panem's District Seven. For several weeks I managed to build walls around me so nothing could affect me. I wanted to forget everything and start a new life, but a severe depression made me lose my mind. Although I never knew I was pregnant until I had the miscarriage, I felt robbed. And, while it is true that I felt some relief knowing that you would never know that you would have a child born of incest, having lost the last piece that I have left from you destroyed me. I would have loved that baby with every fiber of my being, no matter how it had been conceived. Because, moral or not, what we did was an act of pure love, not just teenage lust. But I wasn't strong enough, and I lost it. I didn't want to live anymore, and I took an overdose of antidepressants. If Jo hadn't found me when she did, right now I would be dead."_

"No!" I shouted without being able to control myself anymore. I got up abruptly from the sofa and began to walk like crazy all over the room, holding my hair and shaking my head in negation. "No Katniss no!"

How could she have ever thought that she was guilty of the loss of our baby, when the stress that she had endured completely alone for three months was surely what caused the miscarriage! Now I could never forgive my mother, the Cartwrights or anyone else who had anything to do with this. They were the real culprits of the loss of the baby. If Katniss had been successful in her attempt to take her own life, I would not have been able to stand it. I would be mad, right now. At that moment, more than ever, I was determined to reopen the criminal case along with Gale. I was going to take this to the ultimate consequences.

"Peeta, are you okay?" My sister's sweet and worried voice was heard from the landing of the stairs. I lowered my head and sighed. I didn't want Prim to see me like that. So I tried my best to compose myself.

"I'm sorry I woke you up little one, I'm fine, just a little startled, don't worry, it's nothing, go back to bed." I said looking at her.

"You're reading the letter, right?"

I didn't answer. Prim was definitely no longer a little girl.

"You know I'm here for you, anything you need. I love you bro-dad."

She always managed to make me smile, no matter how bad I felt. My sister was really the most pure beacon of light. So I went up the stairs to meet her and we melt in a hug.

"I love you too squirt." I said kissing her head. "Thanks for being you. Go back to sleep. I'll be fine."

She nodded and went back to her room. When I heard her door close, I walked to the kitchen, took a bottle of water and sat on a stool to continue reading.

“ _I spent eighteen months in a mental hospital in Paris” —_ another punch in the gut— _“I almost lost my scholarship, but Johanna was very supportive, and she helped me to keep it. She and her boyfriend Cato never left me alone. They even sat down in the computer to write Haymitch in my name, so he would never know what had happened. They are two characters, they fight all the time, but they love each other fiercely, even with his powerful family's disapproval. When I left the hospital, I returned to the apartment and to school, and tried to get back on track with my classes. The timing couldn't have being better, because Gale came to Paris during Spring Break looking for me. He spent two years without any knowledge from me. But I still didn't tell him. After he left, I tried to know about you, but you had changed your number and blocked me from all your accounts. So Jo made some inquiries and we learned that you had gone to study art at Capitol University. She located some friends she had there and she told me that, according to them, you were dating a girl named Glimmer. I tried to feel happy that you were doing what you loved, but it broke my heart to know that you were moving on, and had forgotten me, even though I thought it was the right thing. So I tried to do the same, went out with a guy a few times, but I just couldn't, it never felt right. About a year and a half ago, I received a call from Gale. He told me that he had started working with you father, and that he wanted to talk with me. I panicked, but he gave Graham the phone before I could say anything. He said that he had discovered the real reason why I dumped you. He told me that everything had been a big lie, and that his wife had also been deceived, although that didn't excuse her actions. He was really mad at her for what she did. And he tried to convince me that you never stopped loving me, and that if you were dating someone, it was probably a just a fling or an attempt to move on. But Jo found out with her friends at CU that you were still dating the same girl, so we thought it was pretty serious. Two weeks later, Haymitch wrote to me with the news of your parent's horrible accident, and I flew home to try and see you, because, despite everything, I'm still in love with you, I never stopped. And I saw you. You were with her, at the funeral. At that moment, I understood that I had lost you, and it was not fair for me to disrupt your already shattered world. So I went back to Paris and had a little relapse in my depression. That's why I missed Gale's wedding."_

" _It was her at my parents funeral! It was actually her!"_ I thought covering my mouth trying to keep the sobs, I didn’t want to wake up Prim again, but this was too much. While I was at the Capitol, living the college life, fooling around with girls, partying and trying to move on with my life, she was going through hell. And she did it just to spare me of all of it. I always thought that I loved her with all my heart. But her love for me was beyond that.

There was still a last paragraph.

" _Peeta_ , _I know I have no right to ask you this, that you had move along with your life, and that with everything that happened with your parents, you have new responsibilities and priorities, but I would really like to speak to you, face to face. There are things that had happen, and I don't want you to have a bad impression about it. And if there's is a little chance, I'd really like to have at least my best friend back, because I don't want to live without you in my life anymore, and I'll take whatever you are willing to give me. As I said before, I never stop loving you. And very deep inside my heart, I have a little hope that your father was right, and that you didn’t stop loving me too._

_Please call me._

_Yours always,_

_Katniss"_

I crumpled the piece of paper in my fist. I felt like a wretch for even thinking about having something to claim her, She suffered so much, and all alone because of the vultures that surrounded me. Whatever she had done to get ahead, I have no right to claim her. She deserves all the happiness of the world, and if she had found someone else that helped her out of her sadness, I could do nothing more but be grateful to whoever he is, even if it meant having to give her up permanently.

" _But she says she's still in love with me...what would that mean?"_

There was only one way to find out and end all our doubts once and for all. I took my cell phone and decided to write her a message. It was already late and I did not dare to call her.

" _Hey Kat! It's me_. _Sorry it took me so long. I just read the letter._ _I can't believe everything you went through because of me, my heart is broken. I'm sorry for not trusting you and for having mistreated you the other day. You didn't deserve that. Please, just tell me when and where you can see me, and I'll be there to listen to you. Dad was right, I've never stop loving you too, but_ we _are not teenagers anymore, we have both changed_ , _and after everything that has happened, we need to talk with honesty. No more secrets. Hope to hear from you soon._

_Peeta"_

I hit the send button and waited. Thirty seconds later she replied.

_"Oh God! I'm so happy you answered. I was losing hope. Tomorrow afternoon, after you get out of work, meet me at our place. And I promise to tell you everything you want to know. Katniss."_

I smiled through my tearstained face. _Our_ _place_ , the lake.

" _I'll be there at two o clock. See you there. 'Night Kat."_

" _Night Peeta."_

I went upstairs to my room, got into the shower and, just like the night my parents died, I finally let myself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! First of all, I'd like to thank TheMockingjaySerpent for betaing this chapter. Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.
> 
> Well, now we know Katniss misadventures during the 5 years they've been apart. Please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> See you next chapter.
> 
> XOXO
> 
> Lizzyvb


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